The Unfortunate Pad Incident

When I was younger I bowled in a bowling league in Port Arthur, and every summer we could go to competitions we called “State” this specific story will focus on when we were in San Antonio for State Competition. I went up there with another bowler’s family since my mom had to work and my teammates while we were there we went to Fiesta Texas for the day ---it was hot and we did the water rides and small rides I would partake in and there was a lot of walking, well I am on the last leg of my “cycle” so I am basically wearing a pad “just in case” so I think nothing about it as we walk and ride through Fiesta Texas. We return to the hotel where all the bowlers are staying and we decide to make plans to meet some of our bowling (guy) friends at the pool later on, so we get out of the van and are standing there talking, my friends that I am with all leave me to talk to this one boy I have a HUGE crush on to make our pool party plans. All of a sudden I realize the “just in case” pad has unhinged itself and fallen right out the bottom of my shorts into the parking lot. I immediately put my foot on it as if he doesn’t see it (I think a blind person could have felt the embarrassment) and I start to try kicking it behind me, obviously this is quite the sight and he says “well alright I guess I will see you at the pool” I am no longer even listening to him I am only concerned with this pad and getting it out of eye sight.
“oh yeah I’ll see you there” take off running leaving him and the pad that is now stuck to the parking lot right there. He never said anything about the pad so I’m not completely sure if that was just him being nice or him being stupid and not knowing what it was, but I thank him for not drawing MORE attention to this situation. Cody if you are reading this….thanks pal you really helped a girl out.

Low Iron?

I am a giver. Anytime there is a blood drive at work I will give (it’s the little things) when I can. Last week there was a blood drive, around 2:00 pm I decided I should go considering I had a hankering for a snack cake (they give those for free—score) I head into the room where they are taking the blood, sign in and wait to be “checked” they prick your finger to make sure you iron levels are right for donating and they check your temperature and blood pressure. All was good except when the little guy pricked my ring finger he said my iron was low----not terribly “go out to the doctor to get meds low” but too low for to donate. He asked if he could try a different finger, apparently your blood iron level can change from finger to finger? Just like the other finger my iron was too low ---to give you need 38 or over I had a level of 37… I didn’t qualify to give. The Life share blood people aka the little guy massacring my fingers decided to get to the bottom of my iron issue:
Little guy: do you drink a lot of tea?
Me: nope, don’t really like tea.
Little guy: *whispered* are you on your cycle?
Me: what
Little guy: *a little louder* Are You on Your Cycle?
Me (thought) whoa sister… I don’t like to discuss what’s going on in the old vag. to just anyone… but I answered “nope, not on my cycle”
Little guy: well I don’t know, sorry you can’t donate---but get a cake and a coke before you leave.
Me: Thanks, sorry my blood sucks. *gets up to get Swiss roll cake and a coke*

So sad for the people who need blood, because I couldn’t give, but I did try---darn hard. On the bright side, Life Share blood center now knows my menstrual cycle and I still got a snack cake ----win win I say

House of Shock

There is an attraction in New Orleans called the House of Shock; it has been featured on the travel channel as being one of the scariest horror houses in the United States. On that note we (Jason, Forrest, one of his friends (her name leaves me at this moment, and me)
Decide to go to it *thumbs up (sarcastically)*
It is Halloween night (Sunday) and the New Orleans Saints have just defeated the Pittsburg Steelers so this is going to be an insane trip (to say the least) we walk up and the house is literally under the overpass so you see cars driving overhead---we get our tickets and stand in this hellaious line (you don’t just walk in to the HoS there is a pre-show). While waiting we see characters from inside come and “mingle” with the people, so of course there are people already peeing themselves with fear, at this point I’m fine, nothing too big or shocking (no pun intended). After a good 15 minute wait the pre-show starts, this is a show explaining the HoS with fire and demons and explosions’ –Oh My—it wasn’t too shabby (except considering the Saints won the football game some people broke character, but if you had never seen the show you probably wouldn’t have even noticed. After the pre-show we all start walking in----I think because it was Halloween and there was a ton of people there to go thru the house they didn’t split anyone up into groups they just let us go.
There was a guy in front of us that Jason sort of became buddies with he explained we had never been here and if we acted like pussies to not laugh. The guy was really cool and said “dude, when we get in here we are all family” we start walking in and it is pretty creepy, I was holding on to Jason so tightly I couldn’t be scared (especially because if anyone jumped out, screamed at, or messed with anyone it was Jason or our new buddy in front of us) we twist and turn thru these narrow hallways of scariness and all of a sudden Gumby popped out (this is what we get for going on halloween) it was more about having fun and enjoying Halloween instead of the seriousness of scariness, or so I thought. As soon as we get to the end the buddy in front of us warns there is a chain-link fence maze with a chain saw man you just gotta run of it. Excuse me ---check please, I don’t necessarily “do” chain saw men, but considering I’ve invested a good hour into this maze of creepiness I should just venture forward. We get to the end and this was the first time me and Jason broke apart mainly because we were trying to get the hell out of dodge, there wasn’t one chain saw man---there was more like 40 (or at least that is what I remember in my (do I pee myself or run) phase) I don’t remember how but we got out this was after you would go one way and someone would come running toward you “WRONG WAY, WRONG WAY” once out I thought I was tuff shit “it wasn’t that bad..blah blah blah” but yeah… don’t think I’d go in that place by myself or without my shield Jason ----not gonna happen.

Crazy Cab Ride

Every October Jason and I go to New Orleans for Voodoo fest and Bourbon Street debauchery; this story will focus on one night that stands in my mind as the craziest cab ride EVER.

It was Saturday night and we had just finished watching our last band (Ozzy) for the night and decided to head back down to the quarter to dress up for Halloween and go out. Typically we would just ride the city bus back, but Jason wanted to get a cab since the last time we rode the bus it took us FOREVER to get to our hotel, since there was 241987646871354 people trying to get out there to get sloshed for the night of ghouls, goblins, and crazies.

We get in a line…. Is it a line for cabs? I don’t know we never really found out the purpose of said line, but we sure as hell were in it for a good 35 minutes. Finally this cop comes over to “the line” and says there will be no more cabs coming up here and basically go fuck yourself we aren’t getting you to your hotel fend for yourself. I immediately do what I do best and get LIVID at Jason for not doing what I wanted and taking the bus…. For as much time as we spent in this damn line we could have been there, changed and on our second drink….but no we are stuck near City Park in New Orleans STRANDED. I look for the busses and yep there are none, everyone from the line is taking all the cabs and we are STRANDED!!! I immediately do what I do 2^nd best and start to cry…. And yell at Jason for not taking the bus!!!

We start walking ---where? Good question--- the answer would be THE HOOD that is right folks THE HOOD!!! Anyway we are walking and there are cabs passing us by and Jason would try to call for it AFTER it has already passed us by…good job, finally I control my anger, yelling and crying and stop on the side of the road in hopes a cab will come to us. As usual MY plan works and we get a cab to stop, but the cab is well abnormally full. It isn’t like a New York- Lincoln Town Car cab, it is a full on New Orleans Suburban cab and there are a shit load of people in it. The driver we shall call him Savior Saul (since he is the savior that will get us to our hotel) stops and opens the passenger side door and says “hop in”. Jason and I stare at him as to where we are going to sit, cause the back is so full Savior Saul moves a large stack of newspapers from the middle console and says “here you sit here and your lady on the console” my 1^st thought was EXCUSE ME! One there is no seatbelt in the center console and two my fat ass will squash that console, but quickly I think I can either die in a cab from a car wreck or from being murdered and raped near City Park in New Orleans….forget his console, I will take my chances with the cab.

We “hop in” and the ride is on, but not quite apparently Savior Saul thinks he can get one more person in this already filled to capacity suburban so he screams out the window “stay there I’m coming for you” to this guy who looks like he has been “partying” for a while, we shall call him Drunk Dude . SS (Savior Saul) tries to u-turn but there is a little Honda two door car in front of us that is being a real dick and won’t move up so SS can u-turn (there is plenty of space for him/her to move up, they are just being douchey) SS is honking and yelling and this car will not move finally Drunk Dude (DD) walks up to Mr Dick (Two-door Honda) and kicks the crap out of the car---finally that got the message across and the car moves up,

** For the Record: I could have just died in the cab and in the hood near City Park in New Orleans**

DD gets in somewhere ---I don’t know where he would fit and then the ride is really on, SS didn’t want to go the “main” way since the traffic would be horrible because of the 241987646871354 people trying to get out there to get sloshed for the night of ghouls, goblins, and crazies. This is where it gets interesting if it hadn’t already SS starts asking where everyone needs to go---out shouts 20 different places including us saying we need the Marriott on Canal, he immediately says “ I can’t get you exactly where you want, but I’ll get you close’ ---thanks I guess

The people in the back start to count off how many people are actually in this cab, because they too are impressed by SS’ determination to transport so many people. End count of people in this 8 passenger vehicle 15, yes 7 people over the limit, but hey it is Saturday of Halloween weekend what else are you going to do. We bob and weave down all these back roads and every so often SS would let someone out, eventually Jason was able to get in the back so I could sit with SS in the front and as soon as we hit Iberville St. SS said “here you go this is the closest I can get without going directly on Canal. We pay him and get out, and he drives off into the darkness—

SS truly saved our lives that night, picking up a hysterically crying hot-mess (that’s me) and sad-faced Jason, whose ego was shot to shit from being yelled at for a good hour or so. The rest of the trip was just as colorful as this night…

Stay tuned

Movie Review: Glee 3D

This will be more than a review, but a full-on story….sit back and enjoy.

My friend Amanda and I decide to go see Glee 3D after work yesterday, so we load up and head to Beaumont to the “good” theatre to see the movie at 5:00. We show up get our goodies (goobers and Milk Duds) and head into theater, this is after miss don’t know her left from her right (me) gallivanted us all around the theatre looking for the stadium it was in, but let’s not worry we didn’t miss not one preview! We get in and try to find a seat; this was not hard considering we were the only 2 people in the whole movie. This was Amanda’s first 3D movie so luckily some of the previews were in 3D to prepare her for the absolute fabulous-ness of the Glee movie.

The movie begins and basically the premise is the Glee kids are so famous in their hometown that they get to go on Tour and that is what this is….their concert. However it just wasn’t the concert, it was also some backstage shenanigans of the Glee kids “in character” and 3 stories (documentary style) of 3 Glee fans, and how Glee has changed or helped their lives. It was super inspirational and the concert was phenomenal.

Down-sides, the wardrobe, the concert attire was a bit sad, but I see where they were coming from a small town (they had to stay in character---I guess). Another was no Sue Sylvester, Mr. Shoo or some of the characters we have loved in the original show, but then again….why would Sue Sylvester and her faithful side-kick Becky be at a show for a glee performance ----they wouldn’t ok, they just wouldn’t be there.

Up-sides, 3D….we felt we were in the audience with all the crazies that actually paid to go to the real concert, at times we would see a hand fly up and had to remind ourselves we were in the theatre alone. The BIG upside was us seeing this alone, we were animals …singing and dancing to all the songs after a song would end we would applaud and hoot and holler like we were one of the crazies that actually paid to go to the real concert.

So now the true questions: would I pay to go see this: probably not ---I love Glee, but considering it is only in 3D your option is to pay 8 dollars matinee or 9.50 regular ticket prices to see a concert movie….. It was still amazing though, just catch it on DVD J so you can sing and dance in your living room.

*it almost makes me sad I didn’t go see Justin Beiber’s 3D movie when it was out… ok maybe not ….

Movie Review: Crazy Stupid Love

Today’s Movie review is for Crazy Stupid Love. This movie is way better the previews lead on it to be, the trailer or commercials only show the tip of the ice berg Steve Carrell’s character (Cal) is getting a divorce from his wife and he meets Ryan Gosling’s (hot) character (Jacob) who shows him how to be a real lady’s man. True that happens but the movie is so much more than that, you really relate to everyone in the movie and you feel their sides of the stories. Again my girl Emma Stone is in this movie (see review The Help) and she is great as always.

I must say though the MVP for me in this movie was Ryan Gosling (hot) and yes ladies there are a few scenes with him without a shirt ---sign me up for that anytime.

So would I pay to go see this movie: from the previews NO, only because the story-line didn’t seem to be there. But after watching it for free: HELL YES! This would be an excellent date movie---yes…I think guys would like it too, it isn’t Notebook gushy so guys just might be able to sit through it.

Next review: Glee 3D

Movie Review: The Help

You can say I was raised in a Theatre, my sister has always worked in one and every summer I would go and stay with her. While visiting I would get free range of any movie I would like to see, so going to the movies alone or seeing multiple movies in one day is not something new to me. I decided to go to the movies yesterday as my Sunday-Funday and picked two movies I had been dying to see:

1) The Help staring Emma Stone,

This movie is about a young writer that just graduated from college and comes back to live with her sick mother, while trying to decide what she wants to do with her life. She stumbles upon and idea to write a book in the eyes of the black house-maids that all the family’s in this time have. They find themselves dealing with racism and segregation and have to find the courage to go on and get this book out and their point across. The movie was funny, witty, and very classy…. There are ways I think these sorts of movies are done to be “tacky” where every thing involved is too stereotypical, but this was not the case in The Help. This movie literally made me laugh and cry it would be the perfect movie for a mom and daughter or a group of girls like a “girl’s night” to go to. I am not going to say guys will like it…there were guys in the theatre I saw it in, but I know my boyfriend wouldn’t have liked it (let me rephrase that: I don’t think my boyfriend would have paid to see it)

This movie is based on a book, and I have not read it, but the movie did make me want to go to Barnes and Noble and get it today.

Since I am used to seeing movies for free, I always determine whether or not a movie is good by asking myself, “would you pay for this?” or Lord forbid “would you ask for your money back?” that’s right I would ask for my money back even if I hadn’t paid---not because I’m greedy, but because if your movie is THAT terrible I’m gonna need you to pay me to watch it.

So would I pay for this? Absolutely… I would probably watch it again if asked to go.