Childhood with Valerie

I am the youngest of 3, but my brother and sister are both 17 years older then me so growing up it was like I was an only child. I of course had the neighborhood kids that I could play with, but none of them were more sisterly then Valerie she was about 3 years older then me and an only child herself so we bonded quickly. Here are some little ditties about Val that always stuck in my head as we were growing up.

1. My first ass beating (note: I don’t recall any of these events but Valerie and my mom confirmed this story so it must be true)

One day Valerie was standing on her side of the street where she lived on the corner of 12^th st and Duff my family lived on Duff directly across from Valerie’s backyard, Valerie being very young could not cross the street but wanted someone to play with, I was also playing outside in my front yard (please remember I am about 3 years younger then Valerie) so she tells me come over and play…. I do, I walk across the street and go play with Valerie, she is older and wiser then me so this should be fun! I get over there and my Mom who obviously wasn’t watching me properly in the first place snatches me up and beats the ever-loving tar out of me. Valerie was very bright at a young age to know that she didn’t want to get in trouble by crossing the street so let’s get this dumbass little kid to do it! You would think that I would learn from my mistake and not trust Val anymore, but she must have been right I was a dumbass little kid, because I kept coming back for more torture.

2. Playing Hair Salon:

We were a bit older during this story I was about 10 or so. This was back when big hair reigned supreme so Valerie who was a master at it decided to fix my hair into a big bouffant do. She heats up the curling iron and decides to start with the bangs, she rolls a bit and it works out perfect, she takes another strand of hair, again wonderful curls that she will tease and spray to stand up in a lovely way. She goes for the third strand and gets a tad close to my forehead I say “Valerie that burns can take it off my forehead?”

Val: it isn’t on there shut up!

Kara: no it really hurts you’re burning me!

Val: No I’m not SEE!!!

At this point she takes the curling iron off to find a huge burn mark on my forehead

Kara: see I told you!!!!

Valerie doesn’t try to run and get ice or a cold towel, she just starts laughing uncontrollably while trying to muster up the words I’m sorry, after she contains herself I believe she got me a towel and some ice and we took care of the burn. To this day if I turn my head slightly with just the right amount of light I can still see the scar of that curling iron.

3. Want some drugs:

Valerie used to take the packs of smartie’s candies and save all the white ones, then she would tell me they were drugs and make me eat them.

4. Manhole?

One evening we were all playing hide-and-go-seek I was about 10 or 11, Valerie and I take off running to find a hiding spot and I run over a manhole that was posted between Valerie’s house and the house next door. As I run over it I fall in! Well more like I get stuck wedged up between the lid and the side of the manhole. I look up at Valerie and say “a little help”

Val: I can’t help you, if I help you and you break your leg I can be accountable!

Kara: *starts to cry* REALLY you can’t just pull me out!

I then get enough strength to pull myself up out of the manhole and run home; REALLY ACCOUNTABLE you were like 14!!!!!!!

5. I can’t hang out with you anymore

Right after I turned 12 or so I went to play with Valerie, I knocked on her front door and she answered

Kara: wanna play?

Val: I can’t play Kara I am getting to the age where I don’t play anymore, I’m sorry, but you are too young, maybe you can go play with some of the other kids in the neighborhood?

Then she closes the door.

6. The name game

One day I had to be like 8 years old Me, Valerie and the neighbor’s niece Jennifer, were sitting on Val’s front porch, I begin to sing the name-game song

Kara: Jennifer-jennifer-bo-benifer-banana-nana-bo-infer-fi-fy-fo-finger-JENNIFER

Val: that is so rude! You shouldn’t say that about Jennifer’s name that is just so rude!!!

Kara: but it’s a game!

Val: no it is unacceptable you shouldn’t be so rude with people’s names

This broke my little pea-picking heart; I then went home to cry.

7. Speaking of Bikes

For Christmas one year I got a bike it was green with splattered paint all over it---it was beautiful

Now lets rewind--- apparently Valerie knew I was getting this bike asked for it then when I got it said I was copying her!

I’m gonna say I was about 11 (it was a big girl bike)

Now I’m not trying to talk bad about Valerie, I love her dearly; she really is like a sister to me who else would:

When playing “dogs” make me be a human, when I want to watch “Thumbelina” tell me she doesn’t have it anymore knowing I can’t read yet, try to run over me with her bike while I’m skating, steal my Barbie clothes because they were in better shape then hers, or make me go get porn in a paper bag from a neighborhood boy since I was fast and no one would suspect me. Yes these are the things that truly made Valerie my sister and made me the girl I am today so for that Valerie I salute you!!!! ZINGA