The Yelp heard around the neighborhood.

Back in the day before me and Jason were officially official, we were consider “buddies” AKA friends w/benefits. One evening we were over at our friend Forrest and Aubrey’s house watching a movie, when the movie was over right before we left we decided it was time for some “benefits” considering both he and I at the time lived with our parents and both of us were too poor to get a hotel room and it is just plain rude to do it in your friends house while they are present, we decided to have our benefits in the back of Jason’s Honda CRV in the guy’s driveway….

This was our first experience in the CRV and with it being an SUV and very roomy it was perfect for us to do this act, however with it being a roomy SUV it also gave Jason a place to put all of his crap, so for the first 30 minutes we had to transfer his jackets, shoes, empty beer cans, empty energy drink cans, and anything else he had stored in the back into the front seat. Once this was complete we were able to get down to business, now we all must make note that I am on the “larger size” so screwing in a tuna can is about what I felt like, but we ventured on trying different positions until we found one we could work with the style which dogs mate. Picture (if you will) me on all fours in the back of a Honda CRV (older addition --- not these fancy ones---looked like a box) then him behind me as if Lady and the Tramp were about to get it on. He trust forward and YELP!!!!! Wrong hole, completely wrong hole, not even in the ballpark NO HOMERUN FOUL BALL foul ball!!!!!! I hit the deck like I had just been shot in the ass (oh wait I HAD!!!) he starts apologizing immediately then we both burst into fits of laughter….

We wrap it up shortly after that and I go home to settle my nerves. That wasn’t the only time we got play in the CRV, but it was the last time I would get shot in the ass like that ….YELP!!