Christmas Carol

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In high school I was the girl that was in every organization, a regular social butterfly. I was in everything from Crime stoppers to student council, one activity I was big in was Drama club (Treasurer 99-00) My senior year we did a joint production with the Choir of A Christmas Carol, now usually I was a “behind the scenes kind or girl, my junior year I did costumes and sound, but this year I had a part. A real-deal walks on stage part with a name in the program (Not just cast member number 2 or townsperson). Janet was my name and I was the wife of Scrooge’s nephew. I had two on stage parts, the first was when Scrooge is being drug by one of the Christmas ghost and they look upon Scrooge’s nephew’s house where we are hosting a Christmas party. My husband and I are playing a game where we have to guess what people are talking about, and my line was “tight like your Uncle Scrooge’s purse strings.” --- are you waiting for more, well there was none, that was it for that scene and I delivered that semi-line beautifully! My next scene was a bit trickier I had to walk arm and arm with my husband across the stage and get stopped by Scrooge himself (this scene is after he decides he has been a douche his whole life and he is telling us he would like to partake in dinner with us after all. My line: was “We’ll be glad to have you”. Ok, so my friend Nate (who played my husband) and I are arm and arm we start walking, Scrooge comes up,

Scrooge: (not exact ---that was over 10 years ago) Hey nephew I will be able to make it to your dinner party I will bring a boiled goose.

Nephew: (again not exact) that is great…Janet isn’t that great

Janet (That’s me) long pause …..Deep breath …. Wait for it “We’ll be happy if you were there” or some crap like that!!!!

I totally choked, now I don’t think it was noticeable or at least no one called me out on it, but really you have two measly lines in a play and you are bating 1-1 on delivery-----SERIOUSLY!!!! I guess I won’t be giving any acceptance speeches for any Oscars anytime soon and that’s ok, I’d probably botch that up too

Baby on Board....

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I have a friend who is 8 mos pregnant; she works with me and was complaining how her shirts ride up her belly. One day she was wearing a tightly fitting thermal under a big shirt (so you couldn’t see that the thermal was more of a “belly shirt”, because the big shirt was over it) and she was complaining she the she kept pulling at the big shirt thinking it was the thermal and it was riding up…. So I mentioned to Jason her dilemma and he said “yeah I know just how she feels, that happens to me too”

Lets re-cap my friend is a pregnant woman….Jason is just a little chunky round the middle ----- now that is funny

Tis the Season

Ok with Christmas right around the corner I have been listening to Christmas music, and I thought of this story while listening to one of my favorites, I have always loved Alvin and the Chipmunks, seen the movies, the cartoon, sang the songs, everything. Well when I worked for the ambulance company many years ago we all would listen to the radio while working, they had a chance for someone to call in and answer a question and win something ---- everyone in the office starts calling to win the prize and answer the question “what did Alvin want for Christmas?” Now being a super Chipmunk fan who can sing every lyric to their Christmas song I am certainly qualified to answer this question. Everyone is calling *ring ring* *ring ring* “Hello 108.5 the Station, What did Alvin want for Christmas?” before my brain could function my mouth shouted out “His 2 front teeth!!!” “Sorry that isn’t right ---try again *click –Hang up*

What!!!! I look to my co-workers who are all staring at me with their mouths wide open gawking like “you moron….that isn’t remotely right” after sitting there for a tick I was able to re-think of what happen and realized that I indeed are a douche and didn’t say the right words of “Hula-hoop”

To make matters a little more embarrassing (if that display of stupidity wasn’t enough) they replayed me excitedly screaming out the wrong answer on air …. Here is to wound insert salt immediately …. To this day I still don’t recall the prize, but whatever it was everyone in the office wanted it and I managed to screw it up royally.