the unfortunate laundry basket incident...

One evening as I was getting ready to take a shower I walk into the bathroom turn on my bathroom radio, start the shower, and look into the mirror. (Please note: I am fully clothed, I’ve told this story to people in public and they assume I am naked---this is not the case) Ke$ha’s Tik Tok was playing and I was laying down some pretty good moves….I was pop-lock and droppin’’ it and really honing in to my inner Nsync choreography. I look out the bathroom door (that I forgot to close) and see Jason in his “man-room” hanging up clothes in his closet, he is looking me dead in the eyes with a “what the hell are you doing” look on his face. Totally embarrassed I immediately run into the room he is in uncontrollably laughing I throw myself on the guest bed and roll off onto the floor. HOWEVER the floor is not what I found… I found the empty laundry basket that Jason had all his clothes in. if you haven’t guessed I fell into the basket--- picture if you will a turtle on its back, I would be the turtle and the basket was my shell!!!!---- I start laughing/screaming like the little brother Randy on A Christmas Story “I can’t get up ……I CAN’T GET UP!!” the whole time this is going on Jason is standing there with the straightest look on his face-shaking his head like “you moron” finally he comes to my help and gets me up, but as I stand the basket is still stuck on my butt so he then has to pry it off. I would definitely suggest investing in Rubbermaid laundry baskets, they are very sturdy, and I’m also very grateful Jason didn’t run for his camera while I was in that unfortunate position – you guys will just have use your imagination.

This one is for Jughead...

So I’m at my friend/co-worker Courtney’s wedding, the only thing on tap was Shiner beer, and needless to say I had a few. This is why I had to go to the restroom and did what I did. I walk up to the sign-in table with my friend Kristal to put my well-wishes paper in the box for the bride and groom and head off to the rest room. I go in, walk into the stall, put down the toilet seat, tinkle, get up and flush, wash my hands and then walk out the door. When I come out I see Jason sitting at our table with an “OH CRAP” look on his face, then he bust out laughing, Kristal (who is already loud) screams out “OH MY GOSH THAT WAS THE BOYS RESTROOM” I turn back to read the door and sure enough it was the boys room! I then re-think about my trip in there and realized ---yeah you dummy you had to put the toilet seat down---geez. Soon after I walked out Kristal’s boyfriend Jughead walks out of the bathroom, and he didn’t even realize it was me beeboping around in there with him! We were both clueless to my stupidity. Now don’t get me wrong if I am in line for the girls restroom and it is freakishly long I will hop in the guys restroom if someone is a lookout for me, but in those situations I’m fully aware that it is the boys room and not trying to make myself at home.

Earth-day the underground Norwegian Death Metal band

Me, Jason and our friend Forrest went to a music festival called Mayhem fest about 3 years ago. It took place outside in the dead of summer, so I wanted to make sure I was comfortable, so I go to walmart and buy a white shirt made of light cotton. It was just a plain with the word EARTH-DAY 24/7/365 on it. I told Jason that since I was going to a metal show (disturbed and slipknot were playing) I should make up a story about how this was a band, so I didn’t feel out of place amongst all the metal fans… so I came up with Earth day, a underground Norwegian Death Metal band….I didn’t expect anyone to ask me about my shirt, but Forrest did…

It begins

I had him believing that Earth day was a death metal band and that he was going to google or you tube it when he got home from the concert. We never came clean until a couple of months later when I was wearing the shirt again and Forrest was like “oh yeah I gotta check out that band”

Fast forward to 3 years later and me and Jason go to another summer concert in the dead of heat in Dallas and the lady serving drinks (she was an older lady and out of her element) says, “well that is different, everyone is wearing black shirts and they have skulls on them” I felt like she was mocking me so I tell her with the straightest face “this is an underground Norwegian death metal band.” The lady commences to tell us how her son will be so proud that she is learning about all these new bands --- Jason and I bust out laughing and headed to the stages to check out the next band.

So if there is a death metal band in Norway that needs a name “Earth Day” is up for grabs---- you already have a following in the Texas/Louisiana area.

Horse and Buggy Situation...

Every year for Halloween weekend Jason and I go to New Orleans for Voodoo fest (a music festival) last year we planned it where my sister and her friends would be in Nola at the same time and we could all hang out. Basically we would wake up meet Zina and them for breakfast or lunch then sight-see and do touristy stuff. On Saturday we ate some lunch and decided to take a tour on the horse and buggy ride, Jason, Maria (Zina’s girlfriend) Zina and I go to where they are loading the carriages and decide we will ride on this 3 seater. The first two rows are empty and there are three ladies sharing the 3^rd row, Jason pays the guy for us and I walk around to the left side of the carriage and step on the step and get on, Maria and Jason step on the step on the right side and get on. At this point Maria is going to slide over and let Zina get in on the right side, but as Zina steps on the step the buggy actually screams!! Ok it more or less made a cracking noise (it was pretty old) but it was awesome that both Jason and Maria stepped on that side at the same time and then Zina—by herself --steps and breaks the buggy! If that isn’t a way to bruise someone’s ego I don’t know what else is. So Zina has to walk around to the right side and get on like I did. I kid about this, but had I gotten in on that side the whole rail probably would have done more then just crack ---more like break off on the street and me have to buy the city of New Orleans a new buggy.

interesting instances with the parents ....

For the past 2 days Hazel had chest pains on and off, she said it was just "heartburn" me and Jason tried to convince her to go to the Dr/ER for the longest time, but she would either tell us the pain went away or she has just taken medicine so "lets see if it works" finally around 10:30pm Sunday night she said "OK it hurts worse lets go" so me and her went to the ER at the Medical Center in Mid-County as soon as we walk in and get her checked in the chest pain stops, so at this point she feels kind of stupid for coming, but me and every nurse tells her "better safe then sorry" they get her hooked up run an EKG and do lab work on her, 3 hours later we find out that it is just acid reflux/heart burn and that other then high sugar she is healthy as and OX. The only complaint the Dr. has (which by the way Mom loved) was that she is taking too much pain medication for her arthritis, so she gave Mom several suggestions on different types of meds to take to stop her pain in her legs. The Dr. also told her no spicy, greasy, or fried foods for a while since she is getting the heart burn, but other then that she is good to go....Now we are home and I took the day off to do running around for her so she can rest and enjoy her vacation... Me and Zina both agree I should get a medal for getting the old broad to the Dr. now I know what a little pestering and tears can do to get her to go---she can't say no to her baby :)

Now my sister called me the other night saying "what's going on over there?" I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about, but she wanted me to call my dad. Apparently she had received a message on her answering machine of someone saying "Robert passed away" well that is our dad's name. So being a little freaked out she tries calling them but all she got was "you've reached the voice-mail box....." finally after a couple of rounds of phone tag we got a hold of Robert and found out that he was not dead *woo (wipes forehead)*

I just find it weird that both of these events took place days apart and happened to both of my parents ----crazy how life keeps you on your toes!

Halloween Shenanigans...

These incidents happened about 6 or 7 years ago, so bear with me because my memory might be a little shot. Me and my good friend Ryan decided to go out with a couple of our friends Jimmy, Marcus, Jordy, and Kaylee for Halloween. A couple of days prior to our Halloween outing the four of them invite Ryan and myself to a haunted house in town. Now I must add that we usually don’t “hang” out with these four, they were the friends that you see out at the club and chit-chat a bit “how yah been. How’s yah mama…etc” so I personally didn’t know what I was getting into accepting this offer of partaking in haunting festivities. We all meet up at Marcus’ house and we are waiting for Jordy to show up, but up to this time she has been MIA, after a good 2 hours of hunting her down we find her at her mom’s house completely wasted!! We then make her get dressed to go to the haunted house, well since we were going to go to the club after she decides to wear high heels (you will need this info for later) after what has been 3 hours of getting everything together we finally make it to the haunted house.

**this just in I am not a fan of walking in the dark --- ok I’m scared of the dark and don’t like not knowing where I am going so I told everyone pre-haunted Hotel that I would not be leading the rag-tag team of us through this scary maze**

So once we get to the front of the line and pay for our ticket Jimmy the one that was going to lead----chickens out--- absolutely no one else in the group will take the roll so me being the bigger person decide I will take one for the team and lead us through this maze of insanity.

We head in and notice the “building” is a tent and it is in a field, this was the first year for this venue to be in this new location so we weren’t quite sure what to expect, but we head in anyway. I am already starting to pee a little ---I don’t usually get scared at this stuff, but since I’m leading a group of people in a foreign place in the dark I’m freaking a bit. If you have never been to a haunted house you walk down hallways and people scream at you and jump out and there are little sets set up for these “characters” to come out and scare you. As soon as we get to the first one some scary character of the past (Jason, Mike Myers, the Boogie man whoever) pops out and scares the pants off of Jimmy he then proceeds to jump on my back like I’m giving him a piggy-back ride (he pretty much stays there the entire time). We then move on to the next scene and have to stop because drunk Jordy has gotten her heel stuck in the ground! After that craziness we head down a long hallway and I stop, there is a dark man in front of me and I look him dead in the eye and say “get me out of here” he then lets us pass and we head on to another scene, by this time Jimmy has gotten off my back and I’ve started to realize that once you get to a scene you don’t see anyone come out until you start to talk or make noise…they are literally basing on when to come out by the sound you are making when you come up, So I would get to a scene quietly run across to the other end of the scene yell back at the rest of the group “come on guys” so the scary people would come out and I would get to witness them getting the crap scared out of them. This worked a couple of times until the last scene I turned to look at everyone and when I turned back around to head on I see a light ---it was outside !!! finally we made it to the end and I can get out of this place, so I book it to the door after my second step I hear and see THE CHAINSAW MAN, I immediately run the other way back into the hotel, but am stopped because of the other people in my group pushing me the other way so the only other way to go is down this 3^rd mysterious hallway which ends up being a go-around sort of thing (very confusing to explain, but believe me it wasn’t fun) finally Ryan the last person in the group say “go out that way!” so I run full speed out this little exit and as I’m heading out the damn CHAINSAW MAN goes through another passage and meets up with us AGAIN luckily he had a barrier he couldn’t cross and we escaped freely…

It took us a while to catch our breath after that one, they really did save the best ---or in our case the worst for last♥

Same group different day (Halloween) we decide we will all dress up and go to The Street (a place that has a bunch of different bars on one strip to hop around) they have an annual Halloween party where they close off the street and have a massive party. Before we head up there we all meet at Marcus’ house, I was dressed as a goddess, Ryan was a dead bride, Marcus was a priest, Jordy was a devil and Jimmy was an angel, the only person we were waiting on was Kaylee. Now I’m thinking that since Marcus, Jordy, and Jimmy were all Angel/Devil/Priest that Kaylee would be a catholic school girl or a nun or something going with the theme of all the friends….. well she finally gets there (an hour later) in a one piece leopard print leotard, black stiletto knee-high boots, big teased up “jersey” hair, cat ears, painted on whiskers and a tiny handkerchief wrap-skirt. As soon as she walks in Marcus says, “where have you been?”

“well I found this cat suit in my closet and thought it would be perfect for tonight, but when I put it on I noticed…” she lifts up the wrap-skirt “… I have a huge camel-toe in it so I had to finagle a way to cover it!” ----- that’s it! That is the story --- it was hilarious that she took so long to hide her camel-toe just to arrive at the house and show it off, and on top of that who the hell just has a leopard print leotard hanging in their closet? ♥

Different group of people, but same location as the first story ----sort of---- it was the same place The Haunted Hotel, but it was in a different location on this occasion, me and my friend Tibby always celebrated our birthday’s together mine being on the 20^th his being on the 17^th so we decided we would all go out to the Haunted Hotel with a big group of friends … as we get there they split us up into two groups I am in the second group which nothing happened we just walked through with no problems, however in Tibby’s group he was leading and I might want to mention that he is deathly afraid of spiders. Their group walks in to a room that was painted black, with painted glow in the dark spiders as soon as he and his group walk into this room he immediately freaks out and starts running, well the poor bastard should have bobbed instead of weaved, because he planted himself face first into a wall and fell straight back to the ground. My group of course only heard the commotion afterward, but be aware we never let him down about that one.♥

An Old Family Story

This is one of the stories I found on my old blog... enjoy


Something came to mind today while I was reading my two cousin's blogs.
Bonnie and Laurie are sister's and their mother is my Aunt Ruby. Well in their blogs they both
wrote entries about their mother. So they sparked my memory to one of my own.
Every year we have a crawfish boil at my Aunt Ruby and Uncle Red's. Usually I bring my
friend Kelly, but he was out of town so I asked my friend Dana to go. We head out there as soon as I get off of work and of course EVERYONE had been out there all day. So we hurry up eat some crawfish and as we are finishing people start to leave. Within an hour everyone is gone, but me, Dana, my aunt Bernice and uncle Henry from Louisiana, and aunt Ruby and uncle Red.
I don't know how we got to the subject of the old days, but my aunt Ruby told us a story that
left a really funny thought in my head.

"Once in a while your uncle Red's co-workers would

call in the middle of the

night and ask if you know where your husband is

they would try to get them in trouble

with the misses."

Pretty good so far right .... well it only gets better and better!!!!

"Usually he would be a good boy and

he would be at home so the guys would call

for no good reason."

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE SHE SAYS.....

"Yeah well if I thought about it then I should have said

he is right here on top of me!!!!"

This statement sent me and Dana over the top and all we could talk about was that to all

of our friends. There was a lot I learned that day sitting at my Aunt's house chit chatting away.

who knew my aunts could talk so dirrty <~~~~ 2 R's like Christina Aguliara(sp)

yeah you are welcome !!!

I'm Back....did you miss me?

Yeah I know it’s been a while, get over it--- I am back and ready to write. This entry will be the, what I’ve done while I’ve been gone story.

In May me and Jason went on a grown up vacation (where we were gone for a week not just a long weekend trip) we went to Florida and had a blast.

We started out going to New Orleans for a couple of days, then headed out to Florida where we stayed in Orlando and went to Disney World, while in Orlando we caught “Blue Man Group” and Universal City walk, then headed to Cocoa and Daytona beach for a day. On our way back we stopped in Mississippi to visit our friend Forrest then headed on back to Texas. It was a great trip and don’t worry I WILL elaborate on it later. While I’ve been gone I’ve started going back to school. I am taking some online courses right now at the local community College, but will transfer after receiving my associates in Arts and Business to the big University to finish my bachelor’s in finance or accounting (still deciding) Me and Jason just celebrated 7 years together and we are still rolling along strong, I will be turning 29 soon and can’t wait ---28 was a blast and 29 shouldn’t be that shabby either.

I guess since we are talking about birthday’s I will tell you a little story about a b-day celebration I had about 5 years ago … we will call it the “big girl rides bull debacle” 5 years ago I was homeless. Hurricane Rita demolished my family’s house and we were in the looks for a new one/waiting on insurance money to come in, I would stay at different friend’s houses and pretty much gypsy myself around town (this part really has nothing to do with the story just that I want you all to know 1) I was homeless…feel sorry for me and 2) I was staying at my friend Dana’s house) So me, Dana, her sister Amy and her friend Kathy (we will name her Kathy since I do not remember her name) were all getting ready to go out to “The Street” this is a place where there are several little clubs and pubs in a row that the kids like to hang out, all of my friends were meeting us out there to club hop. So we get ready and mosey down to The Street, the deal was Amy who was only 18 at the time would be our DD but the first place we went was 21 and up so me, being me had to go and have a one on one with the bouncer…

Me: so I have like 20 to 40 people coming in here and I would like for our DD to be able to come in here.

Bouncer: how old is she?

Me: 18

Bouncer: well she can come in but I’m putting large X’s on her hands and she can’t drink anything, no water, coke, or juice out of a glass.

Me: that is perfect put the X’s on her and if she gets thirsty we will make her drink out of the sink in the bathroom!

The bouncer marks Amy’s hand and then we are in.

Everyone shows up and we stay there for a couple ---more like a few--- no no lets say what it really was a dozen or so drinks, then we all decide we wanna go get our dance on so head over to this country club that plays a little bit of everything, but they are still a “country club” (not like golf club, like club that plays Country music) I being completely wasted decide “hey they have a mechanical bull, I’m gonna ride it!” So I get some money from Jason and go climb under this fence- barrier thing to go to the mechanical bull, I’m pretty sure I cut like 20 people, but this was the time I was gonna get my ride on! I go to the guy who looked like he weighted about 120lbs soak and wet and gave him my money he then walks with me to the bull and gets on one knee like he is proposing, he then slaps the knee that isn’t on the ground and says “hop on”

Now I’m a big girl and double this guy’s size and he wants my fat ass to “hop on” I just give him a look like you crazy… he smiles and says “hop on”

Whatever dude that is your knee….so I hop on

Dude: You ready

Me: yeah

Dude: hold on and put one arm up for balance

Me: ok

The bull starts and the front end goes straight up I apparently screamed (I don’t remember) because he stops and says

Dude: you ok?

Me: yeah

He starts the bull again and this time the front goes down and the back goes up and I fall head first off the front of this thing, right on to the mat. I don’t remember too much after this moment just that when I woke up I felt like I’d been kicked in the crotch and to my surprise I had a bruise on my FUPA (fat upper P**** area) that was the color of a purple squash, I do have to say that was the first and last time I would ever attempt to ride a bull mechanical or not!