Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ever heard of Selena?

As a little girl I would listen to Selena tapes with my friend Ashley
when her movie came out with Jennifer Lopez I owned it on Video Cassette
even though I had no idea what she what was
saying most of the time her music was catchy and her story was so sad
about her death, today I was switching channels and found a marathon of her different performances and then this show Selena Vive come on so I decided to
Wikepedia Selena...
the movie doesn't show much of what exactly happen at the time of
her death so this info I found on Selena was pretty interesting to know
I hope you enjoy...
Selena Quintanilla-Pérez (April 16, 1971 – March 31, 1995), best known mononymously as Selena, was a Mexican American singer who has been called "The Queen of Tejano music".[2] The youngest child of a Mexican-American couple, Selena released her first album at the age of twelve. She won Female Vocalist of the Year at the 1987 Tejano Music Awards and landed a recording contract with EMI a few years later. Her fame grew throughout the early 1990s, especially in Spanish-speaking countries.

Selena attained further notability in North America after she was murdered at the age of 23 by Yolanda Saldívar, the president of her fan club. On April 12, 1995, two weeks after her death, George W. Bush, governor of Texas at the time, declared her birthday "Selena Day" in Texas.[3] Warner Bros. produced Selena, a film based on her life starring Jennifer Lopez in 1997. Selena's life was also the basis of the musical Selena Forever starring Veronica Vazquez as Selena. As of June 2006, Selena was commemorated with a museum and a bronze life-sized statue (Mirador de la Flor in Corpus Christi, Texas), which are visited by hundreds of fans each week.


Early life

Selena was born in Lake Jackson, Texas, to a Mexican[4] father, Abraham Quintanilla Jr. and a Mexican-American mother, Marcella Ofelia Samora,[5] and was raised as a Jehovah's Witness.[6] She began singing at the age of six; when she was nine her father founded the singing group Selena y Los Dinos, which she fronted. They initially performed at the Quintanilla family's restaurant, PappaGayo's, but the restaurant failed shortly afterwards.[3]

Selena as "Selena y Los Dinos"

The family soon went bankrupt and was evicted from their home. Taking their musical equipment in an old bus, they relocated to Corpus Christi, Texas. There, they performed wherever they could: at street corners, weddings, quinceañeras, and fairs.[7] Their efforts at spreading their names and talents paid off in 1985 when the fourteen-year-old Selena recorded her first album for a local record company. The album was not sold in stores and her father bought all of the original copies. It was re-released in 1995 under the title Mis Primeras Grabaciones.

Selena did well in school, but as she grew more popular as a musical performer, the travel demands of her performance schedule began to interfere with her education. Her father pulled her out of school altogether when she was in eighth grade.[2] She continued her education on the road; at age seventeen she earned a high school diploma from The American School of Correspondence in Chicago, Illinois. Selena released her third album, Alpha, in 1986.

Success

At the 1987 Tejano Music Awards, Selena won Best Female Vocalist (and dominated the award for the next seven years).[2][8] In 1988, she released two albums, Preciosa and Dulce Amor. In 1989, José Behar, the former head of the Sony Latin Music division, signed Selena with Capitol/EMI, a record company he founded. He later said that he signed Selena because he thought he had discovered the next Gloria Estefan.[2] Selena signed a contract with Coca-Cola to become one of its advertising spokesmen in Texas that same year,[3] and her concerts drew thousands of people.

Selena holding a Coca-Cola bottle for her photoshoot

In 1988, Selena met Chris Pérez, who had his own band. Two years later, the Quintanilla family hired him to play in Selena's band and they quickly fell in love. At first her father did not approve of their relationship and went as far as firing Pérez from the band. He eventually came to accept the relationship.[9] On April 2, 1992, Selena and Pérez were married in Nueces County, Texas, and Selena added her new husband's surname to her own.

In 1990, Selena released another album, Ven Conmigo, written by her main songwriter and brother Abraham Quintanilla, III. This recording was the first Tejano album recorded by a female artist to achieve gold status. Around the same time, a registered nurse and fan named Yolanda Saldívar approached Selena's father with the idea of starting a fan club. Her wish was granted and she became the club's president; later she became the manager of Selena's clothing boutiques.[7] Selena released another hit album in 1992, Entre a Mi Mundo, which also achieved gold status.[10] Songs from that album, such as "Como La Flor", helped make Selena a star. Her 1993 Selena Live! album won a Grammy award for Best Mexican-American Performance



Selena released her next album, Amor Prohibido, in 1994. The album was nominated for another Grammy award for Mexican-American Album of the Year. She began designing and manufacturing a clothing line in 1994 and opened two boutiques called Selena Etc., one in Corpus Christi and the other in San Antonio. Both were equipped with in-house beauty salons. Hispanic Business magazine reported that the singer earned over five million dollars from these boutiques.[11] Selena also made appearances alongside Erik Estrada in a Latin soap opera titled Dos Mujeres, Un Camino.[7]

Selena and her band continued to receive accolades; Billboard's Premio Lo Nuestro awarded them six prestigious awards including Best Latin Artist and Song of the Year for "Como La Flor". Coca-Cola released a commemorative bottle in her honor to celebrate their five-year relationship. Meanwhile, her duet with the Barrio Boyzz, "Dondequiera Que Estes", raced to the top of the Latin charts. This prompted Selena to tour in New York City, Argentina, Puerto Rico and Central America where she was in growing demand. The duet with Salvadoran singer Alvaro Torres, "Buenos Amigos", was also a hit.

Selena during her Amor Prohibido photoshoot

By fall of 1994, Amor Prohibido was a commercial success in Mexico and made four number one Latin hits, replacing Gloria Estefan's Mi Tierra on the chart's number one spot. It sold over 400,000 copies by late 1994 in the U.S. and another 50,000 copies in Mexico, reaching gold status.[7] At this point, Selena developed plans to record an English-language album, but continued to tour for Amor Prohibido while beginning preparations for the album. Her next album Selena Live! won Best Mexican-American Album at the 36th Grammy Awards.

In 1995, Selena made a cameo appearance in the romantic comedy Don Juan DeMarco, which starred Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp and Faye Dunaway; she appeared as a background mariachi singer during the first scene. In February 1995, Selena played a concert at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo in the Houston Astrodome, which attracted over 65,000 fans—more than country stars such as George Strait, Vince Gill and Reba McEntire.[3] Despite her busy schedule, Selena visited local schools to talk to students about the importance of education. She also donated her time to civic organizations such as D.A.R.E. and planned a fund raising concert to help AIDS patients. These demonstrations of community involvement won her loyalty from her fan base.[12] Selena scheduled her English album for release in the summer of 1995. Afraid that her fans would think she was turning her back on them, she was working on a new Tejano album as well. Meanwhile, she planned to open two more boutiques including one in Monterrey, Mexico.

Death

In early 1995, the Quintanillas discovered that Yolanda Saldívar, the president of Selena's fan club (Texas-section) and the manager of her boutiques, was embezzling money from the fan club and decided to fire her. Soon after the fallout, Selena agreed to meet Saldívar in a Days Inn hotel in Corpus Christi[13] on the morning of March 31, 1995 to retrieve paperwork for tax purposes. At the hotel, Selena demanded the missing financial papers. Saldívar delayed the handover by claiming she had been raped in Mexico.[2] The singer drove Saldívar to a local hospital where doctors found no evidence of rape.[14] Saldívar returned to the motel where Selena again demanded the missing financial papers.

Selena told Saldivar that she just couldn't be trusted anymore. At 11:49 am, Yolanda drew a gun from her purse, pointing it at Selena. As the singer turned and left the room, Saldívar shot her once in the back. Critically wounded, Selena ran towards the lobby to get help. She collapsed on the floor as the clerk called 911, with Saldívar chasing her, calling her a bitch.[15] Before collapsing to the floor, Selena named Saldívar as her assailant and gave the room number where she had been shot.[16] After an ambulance and the police arrived on the scene, Selena was transported to a local hospital. She died there from loss of blood at 1:05 p.m., two weeks before her 24th birthday.[17]

After death

Selena's death had widespread impacts. Major networks interrupted their regular programming to break the news; Tom Brokaw referred to Selena as "The Mexican Madonna".[18] Numerous vigils and memorials were held in her honor, and radio stations in Texas played her music non-stop.[2] Her funeral drew approximately 60,000 mourners, many of whom traveled from outside the United States.[2] Among the celebrities who were reported to have immediately phoned the Quintanilla family to express their condolences were Gloria Estefan, Julio Iglesias and Madonna.[7] People magazine published a commemorative issue in honor of Selena's memory and musical career, titled Selena 1971–1995, Her Life in Pictures.[2] A few days afterwards, Howard Stern mocked Selena's murder and burial, poked fun at her mourners, and criticized her music. Stern said, "This music does absolutely nothing for me. Alvin and the Chipmunks have more soul... Spanish people have the worst taste in music. They have no depth." Stern's comments outraged and infuriated the Hispanic community across Texas.[19] After a disorderly conduct arrest warrant was issued in his name, Stern later made an on-air apology, in Spanish, for his comments.[20] Two weeks after her death, on April 12, George W. Bush, then Governor of Texas, declared Selena's birthday April 16 as "Selena Day" in Texas.

That summer, Selena's album Dreaming of You, a combination of Spanish-language songs and new English-language tracks, debuted at number one on the U.S. Billboard 200, making her the first Hispanic singer to accomplish this feat[21] and the second highest debut after Michael Jackson's HIStory.[7] On its release date, the album sold over 175,000 copies, a record for a female pop singer, and it sold two million copies in its first year.[22] Songs such as "I Could Fall in Love" and "Dreaming of You" were played widely by mainstream English-language radio, with the latter reaching #21 on the Billboard Hot 100. Meanwhile, "I Could Fall in Love", while ineligible for the Hot 100 at the time, reached #12 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart and the top 10 on the Adult Contemporary Chart. David Byrne has paid homage to Selena on his past tours with Tosca Strings by performing their duo God's Child. "Dreaming of You" was certified three times Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America.[23]

In October 1995, a Houston jury convicted Saldívar of first degree murder and sentenced her to life in prison, with the possibility of parole in thirty years.[24] The gun used to kill Selena was later destroyed and the pieces thrown into Corpus Christi Bay.[25][26]

Legacy

Selena, pictured singing during the "Selena Vive" concert

Jennifer Lopez played Selena in a film about her life. Directed by Gregory Nava, the biopic opened with mostly positive reviews.[27] Over 20,000 people auditioned for the leading role in the movie.[28] The film stirred some controversy in the Mexican-American community, since Lopez is Puerto Rican-American and played the role of a singer of Mexican descent. But Selena's fans supported the movie, and Lopez's acting in the film helped elevate her career.[29] Although Lopez succeeded as a pop star a few years later, Selena's voice was dubbed in for all the songs in the movie.[30] For her role, Lopez was nominated for a Golden Globe award for Best Actress in a Musical.[31]

Reliant Stadium in Houston hosted a tribute concert, Selena ¡VIVE!, on April 7, 2005. Held a week after the 10th anniversary of her death, over 65,000 fans attended the concert, which featured high-profile artists including Gloria Estefan, Pepe Aguilar, Thalía, Paulina Rubio, Ana Barbara, Alejandra Guzmán, Ana Gabriel, and Fey. The artists performed renditions of Selena's music, as did her brother, A.B. Quintanilla, who performed with his band Kumbia Kings backed with footage of Selena singing "Baila Esta Cumbia". Broadcast live on the Univision network, Selena ¡VIVE! is the highest-rated and most-viewed Spanish-language show in American television history. The show, which lasted over three hours, scored a 35.9 Nielsen household rating.[32]

The American Bank Center in Corpus Christi named their 2,526-seat concert auditorium, Selena Auditorium, in her memory.

Happy Anniversary


Last Friday night was the one year anniversary of Jason moving in with me and to honor and congratulate him for dealing with me for a long 12 months, I decided to take him out on a “date night”

We started at a nice Sushi Restaurant called Tokyo’s they have a hibachi grill and everything, we get there and wait for our friends Shawn and Kaleena to arrive (there was some miscommunication as to this being a “date night” and they sort of got invited, but that is ok the more the merrier) so once they arrive we get seated and wait for the show…. We eat and drink and eat some more, then decide where to go to next.

Shawn suggest the strip club which is always fun so why not? We get there and go inside an hour or so go by and they do what they call their “Showtime” 2 lap dances and a shirt for the price of one lap dance ---can’t be beat, so I say I never had one and Jason offers to buy it for me as my anniversary present. I pick a girl that is kind of 50’s style with a big red flower in her hair, we saw her dance once and she was a cutie. Jason gets her attention and we head to the VIP section:

Stripper: ok you get two dances we can split it up or just give you the two.

Kara: awe lets share the wealth

Stripper: ok but I have to warn you I rather dance for girls it’s less creepy

We sit down on this couch and chit chat, she tells me about her family, and that she graduated from college with a bachelor’s in Business, but she only has to work 3 days a week here so it helps with her having a 10 mos. Old baby at home…so forth and so on

Then out of no where she gets naked and says:

Stripper: my motto is if you have what I have I don’t care if you touch

Kara: Alrighty then …good deal

She starts dancing and tells me about how she is on weight watchers and asked how long Jason and I have been together, then she cusses him out for not putting a ring on this finger and making me an honest girl: (she said cuss words that even made my sailor mouth blush)

Then we start to joke around with her and just shoot the shit… it was really cool/she was a cool chick.

Before I knew it my song was over and she asked Jason if he wanted the other one or should she give it to me.

He said give it to her (apparently he was having more fun watching) so second song comes on and we bullshit again. Talking about Facebook and chain smoking and more weight watchers stuff! It was like I was chit chatting with an old friend, once it was all over and we went back to the table I realized she said she’d been dancing since she was 19 she’d been in the business for 6 years which only made her 25 years old WHAT A BABY!!! But hey she works hard for her money and she got a fan out of me and Jason.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Is it Sad that I watched the show yet don't remember him?

Andrew Koenig's Body Found in Vancouver Park

Story photo: Andrew Koenig's Body Found in Vancouver ParkUs Magazine

Actor Andrew Koenig -- best known for his role as Kirk Cameron's pal Boner on the '80s sitcom Growing Pains -- was found dead Thursday in Vancouver, B.C.

At a press conference attended by Koenig's family Thursday evening, police said the actor's body was discovered "in a densely wood area ... unseen from the path" by "family and friends who initiated their own private search." (His father, Star Trek actor Walter Koenig, was among the people who joined in on the search.)

Foul play is not suspected.

"My son took his own life," his father Walter told reporters, adding that his son had been battling depression.

"Don't ignore it; don't rationalize it," he said in regards to depression. "Extend a hand."

See Us' photo tribute to stars gone too soon

The 41-year-old actor had been missing since Feb. 16.

After visiting pals in Vancouver, he never boarded his flight back to Los Angeles. (Prior to his trip, he reportedly had moved out of his Venice, Calif., apartment of nine years and sold a number of his belongings.)

His parents phoned police after receiving a disturbing letter from their son.

In an interview with UsMagazine.com earlier this week, his father Walter refused to discuss details on the note. But he revealed that his son was not taking medication for depression.

Asked how his son was coping with depression, Walter told Us, "That is what we are trying to find out ... In his point of view, things were not going well."

See today's top celeb news pics

Burlesque artist Jenny Magenta -- the last person to see Koenig alive -- told Us he "looked healthy" when he arrived in Vancouver Feb. 11 to visit her. "We were talking about old times and friends." But she told Us he soon began acting "out of character," insisting on paying her for allowing him to stay at her apartment.

"Think about it -- a friend who you've known for years comes to visit you and they're wanting to pay you rent?" she told Us. "That's just weird."

When she woke up Feb. 14, Magenta tells Us Koenig was missing.

"No parent should have to deal with anytime like this," Koenig's father Walter told Us in an interview earlier this week.

He described his son as "a good human being who has "an awful lot left to contribute in this world."

Get more Us! Follow us on Twitter, Friend us on Facebook, Subscribe to Us Weekly

Monday, February 22, 2010

Just another Saturday night

Saturday night Jason and I went to a local Mexican restaurant to eat for a Hugo’s birthday (Valerie’s Husband –see Life with Valerie) , it wasn’t very cold out so I decided to wear a pair of my flip flops from last year. As I walked in I felt the flip flop loosen on my right foot once seated I investigated the foot which lead to me realizing my shoe had broken. I tried rigging said shoe several times but once I walked for a long period of time (didn’t help it was a buffet style restaurant) the shoe would come unloose and then I would be stuck back on square one. Everyone was going to go bowling after dinner so this shoe situation was going to not work, I told Jason we needed to run home so I could change shoes and meet everyone back at the bowling alley. We head home, I changed shoes, and then we were right back out the door. As we start to approach the bowling Alley Valerie calls to tell us that there is a long wait and so they are going to the next town. We would have gone, but we spend Friday night in Beaumont (the next town) and decided to just go home to call it a night. On our way home a second time we go the back way and end up on a two lane street (as in one lane going one way and one lane going the other). As we go straight we see a guy walking on our side of the road he is on the “shoulder” between the ditch and the road. As we start to pull over to the left in order not to hit him he looses his balance and goes sliding into the ditch he then gets back up and slides back down the ditch this time hitting his mouth. I then see something fly out of his mouth to what looks like a tooth! The whole incident happened so fast we didn’t have time to turn around and check on the poor guy, I’m sure he was heading to the corner store to pick up a 40oz and some Newport’s (yeah it’s that kind of neighborhood) In conclusion… it was probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. Hope he is ok.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

little known, very interesting facts about Texas


1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles
2.. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles
3... El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
4.. World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.
5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike -2008!
6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston ..
7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America
8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes...
9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
10. The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .
11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20,1969, was " Houston ," but the space center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.
12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island ...
13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979...
14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.
15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper..
18. Texas has had six capital cities:
Washington -on- the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston ,Velasco, West Columbia and Austin ..
19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U..S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).
20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington monument.
21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas ..
22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies.. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).
23. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston .

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I Will Never Be a Nascar Driver

From the ages of 5 to 8 I would not use the door to the car to get out, I would climb out the window. My mom owned a grey piece of shit car with no air conditioner so the windows were always down. We had just returned from either grocery shopping or something and I start to climb out of the window. First of all the doors are unlocked and this is about 20 years ago so locks were still placed on the top of the door near the window and the lock was about as long as my pinkie finger, I start to climb out when I find that my favorite puff paint shirt with a city of cats motif has gotten caught on the lock. No sooner then I realize I’m dangling from the door completely bent in two with my knees in touching my chin, my mom locks the door and the pinkie sized lock shoots back in the top of the door, my shirt then unhooks from the lock and I go crashing face first into gravel that we called our driveway. I immediately feel tremendous pain and start to cry; my mom helps me up and runs me into the house where she goes to the kitchen to get a towel and other first aid items to help with my wounds. All I remember is not being able to close my mouth, due to rocks being lodged in my lips and gums, and all I could taste was dirt. Once we assessed the situation and cleaned me up I still had all my teeth and only a couple of scratches. From that day on I was officially the big girl that got out of the car like a normal person ---undo seat belt, unlock door, open door, step out, and close door!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Bet

I have two good friends from high school who I used to hang out with all the time, we shall name them Tibs and Lucky. We would have parties at Tib’s dad’s house all the time, it was our weekend life. One of the last parties we had over there all three of us decided we were going to make a bet.

Who will get laid tonight?

Winner(s): didn’t have to clean the house after the party

Loser(s) did have to clean the house

If all failed/succeeded bet was called off and all had to clean

There a couple of things you should know before I move forward:

1. None of us have a significant other, all single

2. Lucky is a virgin

3. Tibs is a light weight, when it comes to drinking

Now we may proceed, the night starts like any other night with shots and drinks and music galore.

Let’s begin with Lucky

He has invited a girl name Leslie over to be his “prospect” for the night, but he starts talking to a different girl named Janine. This pisses off Leslie so if Lucky had any play with her at all that night it went straight out the window....As for Janine she too was a virgin and was not giving anything to Lucky --- Poor Lucky mission failed and bet LOST

Now on to Tibs

This fool started drinking heavily from the beginning, 8:00 he was passed out in his dad’s bed

No luck for the Tibster

Finally me *the winner* the only one of the crew that got laid and that was because trusty Jason (her FWB) was there to tap one out in the back of his CRV <-- Yeah I know again. (see blog entitled "Yelp heard around the Neighborhood)

It was a bit awkward to have us in the act in the back of the vehicle on the street in front of the house with the back of the CRV open and for him to actually talk to people while they walk to their cars to leave, but this is the kind of sacrifice you make when there is a bet involved.

The next morning I got to watch Lucky and Tibs clean up while I sat there hung-over…. Yeah I was hung-over, but at least I didn’t’ have to clean

See there is hope for the Fatties yet!

Ice dancer Belbin has put on weight, and she couldn't be happier

There is no denying that American ice dancer Tanith Belbin is a beautiful woman. As she glides across the ice with partner Ben Agosto, it's hard to take your eyes off of her. But the Belbin you'll see take the ice Friday night is very different than the one who won silver at Turin in 2006.

This Belbin is 10 pounds heavier, and she couldn't be happier about that.

According to the New York Times, Belbin and Agosto went to new coaches, including Natalia Linichuk, in 2008. One of Linichuk's first suggestions was for Belbin to put on weight. Belbin was resistant, which brought to light Belbin's problems with eating.

“I thought I was out of control and that the weight gain must be my fault,” she said. “I was like, I’m eating nothing and I’m still not losing weight. I swear, I’m not eating anything and I’m exhausted and cranky and stressed and all of those things that make you gain weight even more.”

With Linichuk's help, Belbin changed her eating and training habits. She grew stronger, allowing curves and muscles to be a part of her body. Agosto said that their lifts have improved, as Belbin can hold herself up more easily. If you've ever held a sleeping child, you know that Agosto's job became much easier as Belbin's strength improved.

The difference in their skating is noticeable. Last season, they took silver in Skate America and the Cup of China. This season, they took gold in the same events, and they are contenders for gold in ice dancing.

So when you watch Belbin compete for gold this weekend, realize that you're not just looking at a beautiful woman. You're looking at a beautiful, healthy woman.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Reality Show Whisperer

I have been watching reality shows since they first started, I don’t discriminate against any of them I will try any of them once. Let’s just say I’m hard core! I will pick a favorite person from American Idol, Survivor, Big Brother, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette…you get the picture, I try to see if my #1 makes it to #1. My Favorite by far is Big Brother I want to be on this show I want to rule this show, I even have a group at work lets call them the Big Brother Alliance of Awesome, we do a fantasy football esque draft of who we think will be on the top 5 and discuss the shows as they play and really get into this. Now like I said I’m hard core when it comes to defending my #1 choice I want them to win so bad I can taste it. I am on the other hand not good at picking: in American Idol the only person I wanted to win that did win was Carrie Underwood, I don’t think I’ve picked one Survivor winner, but I’m pretty good with Big Brother my people at least make it to the final two. Last season was the first year me and Jason lived together so I made him sit down and watch it with me, Jason is not a reality show fan, he will talk so much crap on them it isn’t funny. I wasn’t sure how he was going to handle Big Brother I was sure that the first thing negative he said about the show would lead to him being kicked out of the house.

First episode comes on and he gets into it I pick my top 5 for work making Michelle the shy neuroscientist my #1 I feel she is going all the way, Jason decides he wants in on this action so he chooses the cute little blonde Jordan that aligns herself with a showmance. Michelle in the following weeks sets her self as the “evil” player and the “outcast” and ends up getting evicted in the final 4. Jason’s choice Jordan not only makes it to the final four but all the way to the final 1…yes my friends 11 seasons of this show and my person has never made it to the final 1 NEVER…this joker swooshes in on day 1 and picks the winner. I’m debating whether or not I use his powers for good or not I could:

1. Use him to pick my picks for the Big Brother Alliance of Awesome aka BBAA and dominate.

2. Play a friendly at home fantasy big brother game that could lead to break-up or worse ….murder (not really it is just a game show)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day 2006


with Valentine's being this weekend thought I'd bring you a LOVE story....or not... but it is about Valentine's Day....

Valentine’s Day 2006 was right after hurricane Rita, my family lost their house during this time and I was living at my aunt’s house. Jason and I were still not official yet, but we were on our way out of “friends with benefits” on to “talking/dating” stage. We decided to go eat at Chili’s and then to the local bar where we sing karaoke, this place is conveniently located adjacent to a hotel. We get a couple drinks in us and decide we want to get frisky, but the question is where to go…he still lives with his parents at this point and I live in Nederland in one bedroom that I share with my mom! He goes to see how much a room would be where we are…. No vacancy

Well crap what now --- for the next hour we go up and down the highway stopping at every hotel from here to the next town over and there are no vacancies, so we do the next best thing, we leave my car in the parking lot and go to Pleasure Island (a small little island in our town over a large bridge there are docks there and a disk golf course) we go there and comb the island looking for a spot to “park” we find this wooden gazebo in the middle of the disc golf course so we go over there get some blankets and set up shop. It is February so it is still pretty chilly in our neck of the woods, but strangely the mosquitoes were out and feeling as frisky as we were. We start getting into it when all I feel is mosquitoes attack my ass before I know it I tell Jason “this isn’t even worth it I am miserable with these damn mosquitoes” so we stop, he brings me back to my car and go home to check out the damage. What I failed to mention I am allergic to mosquitoes so I had huge whelps on my ass for weeks, looked like my ass got a case of the measles, needless to say we strictly keep our festivities indoors we are just getting too old to be all adventurous and shit.

I hate mosquitoes!!!!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Childhood with Valerie

I am the youngest of 3, but my brother and sister are both 17 years older then me so growing up it was like I was an only child. I of course had the neighborhood kids that I could play with, but none of them were more sisterly then Valerie she was about 3 years older then me and an only child herself so we bonded quickly. Here are some little ditties about Val that always stuck in my head as we were growing up.

1. My first ass beating (note: I don’t recall any of these events but Valerie and my mom confirmed this story so it must be true)

One day Valerie was standing on her side of the street where she lived on the corner of 12th st and Duff my family lived on Duff directly across from Valerie’s backyard, Valerie being very young could not cross the street but wanted someone to play with, I was also playing outside in my front yard (please remember I am about 3 years younger then Valerie) so she tells me come over and play…. I do, I walk across the street and go play with Valerie, she is older and wiser then me so this should be fun! I get over there and my Mom who obviously wasn’t watching me properly in the first place snatches me up and beats the ever-loving tar out of me. Valerie was very bright at a young age to know that she didn’t want to get in trouble by crossing the street so let’s get this dumbass little kid to do it! You would think that I would learn from my mistake and not trust Val anymore, but she must have been right I was a dumbass little kid, because I kept coming back for more torture.

2. Playing Hair Salon:

We were a bit older during this story I was about 10 or so. This was back when big hair reigned supreme so Valerie who was a master at it decided to fix my hair into a big bouffant do. She heats up the curling iron and decides to start with the bangs, she rolls a bit and it works out perfect, she takes another strand of hair, again wonderful curls that she will tease and spray to stand up in a lovely way. She goes for the third strand and gets a tad close to my forehead I say “Valerie that burns can take it off my forehead?”

Val: it isn’t on there shut up!

Kara: no it really hurts you’re burning me!

Val: No I’m not SEE!!!

At this point she takes the curling iron off to find a huge burn mark on my forehead

Kara: see I told you!!!!

Valerie doesn’t try to run and get ice or a cold towel, she just starts laughing uncontrollably while trying to muster up the words I’m sorry, after she contains herself I believe she got me a towel and some ice and we took care of the burn. To this day if I turn my head slightly with just the right amount of light I can still see the scar of that curling iron.

3. Want some drugs:

Valerie used to take the packs of smartie’s candies and save all the white ones, then she would tell me they were drugs and make me eat them.

4. Manhole?

One evening we were all playing hide-and-go-seek I was about 10 or 11, Valerie and I take off running to find a hiding spot and I run over a manhole that was posted between Valerie’s house and the house next door. As I run over it I fall in! Well more like I get stuck wedged up between the lid and the side of the manhole. I look up at Valerie and say “a little help”

Val: I can’t help you, if I help you and you break your leg I can be accountable!

Kara: *starts to cry* REALLY you can’t just pull me out!

I then get enough strength to pull myself up out of the manhole and run home; REALLY ACCOUNTABLE you were like 14!!!!!!!

5. I can’t hang out with you anymore

Right after I turned 12 or so I went to play with Valerie, I knocked on her front door and she answered

Kara: wanna play?

Val: I can’t play Kara I am getting to the age where I don’t play anymore, I’m sorry, but you are too young, maybe you can go play with some of the other kids in the neighborhood?

Then she closes the door.

6. The name game

One day I had to be like 8 years old Me, Valerie and the neighbor’s niece Jennifer, were sitting on Val’s front porch, I begin to sing the name-game song

Kara: Jennifer-jennifer-bo-benifer-banana-nana-bo-infer-fi-fy-fo-finger-JENNIFER

Val: that is so rude! You shouldn’t say that about Jennifer’s name that is just so rude!!!

Kara: but it’s a game!

Val: no it is unacceptable you shouldn’t be so rude with people’s names

This broke my little pea-picking heart; I then went home to cry.

7. Speaking of Bikes

For Christmas one year I got a bike it was green with splattered paint all over it---it was beautiful

Now lets rewind--- apparently Valerie knew I was getting this bike asked for it then when I got it said I was copying her!

I’m gonna say I was about 11 (it was a big girl bike)

Now I’m not trying to talk bad about Valerie, I love her dearly; she really is like a sister to me who else would:

When playing “dogs” make me be a human, when I want to watch “Thumbelina” tell me she doesn’t have it anymore knowing I can’t read yet, try to run over me with her bike while I’m skating, steal my Barbie clothes because they were in better shape then hers, or make me go get porn in a paper bag from a neighborhood boy since I was fast and no one would suspect me. Yes these are the things that truly made Valerie my sister and made me the girl I am today so for that Valerie I salute you!!!! ZINGA

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bathroom Ninja


Let me start by saying that I can be VERY persnickety when it comes to a “bathroom experience” when performing a #1 anything goes, there could be 45 people in the bathroom stalls next to me, port- o- cans are no fear of mine either, but when I gotta drop the deuce that’s when I get funny with the honey. I was at work one day and we have a bathroom in our administration building that has about 7 stalls in it, regular old bathroom stalls nothing cool or fancy. Anyway I go into the bathroom and head to my “meditation deuce dropping station” which is the stall next to the over-sized wheelchair stall, it is slightly bigger so I can spread out and take a load off or get a load out however you wish to put it. Let me jump for a second to let you know before the evacuation of fecal matter begins I have to do a “ritual”

Check under the stalls to see any feet

(On this particular day there were none)

I listen for the door to the front “sink” area open

(it can be pretty loud)

I listen for the second door that leads to the stalls

(it also can be pretty loud)

When all pans out and there are no feet or any ruckus coming from the doors I know it is time for deployment. On this particular day I felt I was going to have a pretty good crop, assure of myself and my surroundings I prepare for droppage. Just as I am ready for the magic to happen I look down to find a black steel toe boot in the stall next to me! How can this be? I heard no doors or stalls opening, there were no footsteps NOTHING, this person next to me must have glided under the doors and over the stall and land delicately on the floor…. This person was very stealth-like, similar to a ninja!!! At this point my butt has completely shut down nothing will be exiting this orifice with Ninja Bathroom chick next to me, I make myself pee as not to look like the dingle berry that just sits in the bathroom for shits and giggles (hehe shits) then I head to the sink area. I make sure I stick around to find out this mysterious creature so that I can one congratulate her on her mad hovering skills, and make sure that if she is in the area of the bathroom again I can avoid all contact since she is unpredictable in her bathroom ways. I start to wash my hands and turn to get lotion and BAM! There she is HOW DID SHE DO IT?!?!?! The heavy door that makes noise is right next to me and I STILL do not hear her! What a rebel bad-ass, with skills such as this, she could aspire to do great things like be a super hero or something! Once I get my bearings and I see the lady of the bathroom the only words I can muster up is “ugh you scared me” and I walk out. I will not unveil the secret lady’s identity just incase she does choose to use her skills for good and become a masked crusader. Just for the record, I made a lap and came back to drop my precious deuce and believe me it was good!

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Yelp heard around the neighborhood.


Back in the day before me and Jason were officially official, we were consider “buddies” AKA friends w/benefits. One evening we were over at our friend Forrest and Aubrey’s house watching a movie, when the movie was over right before we left we decided it was time for some “benefits” considering both he and I at the time lived with our parents and both of us were too poor to get a hotel room and it is just plain rude to do it in your friends house while they are present, we decided to have our benefits in the back of Jason’s Honda CRV in the guy’s driveway….

This was our first experience in the CRV and with it being an SUV and very roomy it was perfect for us to do this act, however with it being a roomy SUV it also gave Jason a place to put all of his crap, so for the first 30 minutes we had to transfer his jackets, shoes, empty beer cans, empty energy drink cans, and anything else he had stored in the back into the front seat. Once this was complete we were able to get down to business, now we all must make note that I am on the “larger size” so screwing in a tuna can is about what I felt like, but we ventured on trying different positions until we found one we could work with the style which dogs mate. Picture (if you will) me on all fours in the back of a Honda CRV (older addition --- not these fancy ones---looked like a box) then him behind me as if Lady and the Tramp were about to get it on. He trust forward and YELP!!!!! Wrong hole, completely wrong hole, not even in the ballpark NO HOMERUN FOUL BALL foul ball!!!!!! I hit the deck like I had just been shot in the ass (oh wait I HAD!!!) he starts apologizing immediately then we both burst into fits of laughter….

We wrap it up shortly after that and I go home to settle my nerves. That wasn’t the only time we got play in the CRV, but it was the last time I would get shot in the ass like that ….YELP!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Where did those steps come from

One night about 5 or so years ago I was at my friend Kenneth’s house party. I was drunk!!

The end…

No just playing, I was sitting on his staircase talking to a bunch of my friends and he walked by, I had some urgent information to tell him, or so I thought.

I begin walking after him screaming “KEEEEENEETH!” also what I thought apparently I was whispering it, because he did not hear me.

In the back of his house was a breeze-way to his garage, once you left the back door of the house you had to walk down 3 stairs to get to the concrete ground breeze-way (this is where we kept the keg) as I’m walking after him quietly whispering his name he walks down the steps and into the garage, I walk out the door completely miss the steps turn mid-air, hit my head on the keg and land side down on the concrete.

All I hear is “ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh”

All I think is What the Fuck, where did those steps come from?”

Shortly after that Kenneth came over and took me outside to see if I was ok, I was so it was no biggie, I got up went inside and got another drink, now that I think of it I never told Kenneth what I needed to tell him….I guess it must have not been THAT urgent.

This one time at the Strip Club...


So Friday night we met with some good friends at Hooters for some wings and beer, as we were leaving I jokingly said to Jason

“Hey we should go to the strip club.”

Jason: “are you serious?”

Kara: Sure why not as long as you pay I’m good.

Jason: Ok don’t lie to me, because I’m taking this exit to stop and get some cash.

Kara: fine let’s do it.

We stop to get money then head over to the strip club, we walk, Jason pays our cover 10.00 a piece, then we find a seat and enjoy the show, and here are some of the strippers we saw:

· One was a little on the “nugget” size (short midget-esque character) with a maid outfit on (how cliché) anytime she would come by Jason would scream and say she is just so creepy! I asked him if he was afraid she would try to take him to the lollipop guild, and confirmed that this was in fact the issue.

· There was another that was in a BRIGHT neon orange bikini and had platinum blonde hair, she also had the skin color of a football…lets just say her “day job” must be at a tanning salon….we nicknamed her Fraggle, she was the one that when she took her top off she was so dark we couldn’t see her boobs.

· Another one resembled Kate Goslin, from John and Kate plus 8 and she literally swayed on the stage, kicked one leg and stood on the stage JUST STOOD, she had absolutely no interest in being there or she was so doped up she didn’t know she was working there.

· Finally there was a girl that was wearing a bikini but the border of it was cleverly made out of measuring tape? (Did I say Cleverly, I meant tackily—if that is even a word) when Jason went to the stage to tip her he realized he recognized her from somewhere, he just didn’t know where…by the end of the night he figured it must have been high school and that they were in the band together.

All and all we had a great time, but strangely we were more interested in the videos they played on the side screen while the girls dance. I don’t know if that makes us old or just really into Beyonce’ and Lady Gaga (that seemed to be pretty much the only thing the girls danced to. I must say in conclusion the crop this year is very talented…minus the few I named above the other girls were not only cute but also very acrobatic: flipping over bars and swinging around the pole with the greatest of ease, it was the best $10.00 I never spent.

The shitty Ride home.

You know what I’ve learned in my 28 years on this planet? It is never a good idea to:

1. Eat a big mexican dinner before going on a long road trip and

2. Drinking very heavily the night before a long road trip

Here is my story…

Like most of my stories go: this one time me and Jason where leaving New Orleans we both made the mistake of doing the 2 things that are listed above before leaving the Big Easy and heading our way homeward. We get about an hour out of New Orleans and Jason decides that the mixture of the 2 do not go well together and for me to please exit it is time for some immediate vomiting. I exit and park in what looks like a wal-mart or furniture store (some big old building) he hops out of the car runs to the back of the building and commences throwing up everything he ate all weekend, at this time I get the worst bubble gut and decide “CODE RED” lets get this girl to a bathroom STAT. I spot a McDonalds about 200 paces from where we are so as soon as Jason gets back in the car we haul ass to the McDonald’s I go to the bathroom and realize that there is a school bus full of 12-15 year old girls (they must have been on a field trip and decided to stop for a snack/bathroom break) This is no bueno for my situation! As we’ve learned I am a bit on the weird side when it comes to dropping loads in public, so for there to be about 20 girls posting up in the McDonalds bathroom makes for a not happy Kara or Kara’s bubbling stomach. I go to the first stall that is open and let loose, the girls are being loud so who cares if I get a little rowdy with my movement. Until I start to smell said movement and again this is no bueno, I flush half-way through the movement and haul ass. That is right folks I still have some left in me, but due to my “stupid” shit in public phobia I get out and hold it for the next 5 hours until we get back home. This my friend was probably the most horrible situation for me and Jason to be in …he is nauseous and I am filled full of crap waiting for home. We quickly learned where we had failed in our decision of partying and lunch choice, from now on it is early to bed and salads for lunch before any long trip…..this should be a rule of the road.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

?????

Why do people always ponder “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”.
I look at it like this, when I am asleep and I fart in the bed, I know it still stinks, even though I wasn’t awake to sniff it.
If you really want to know whether or not that fart made a noise as well, you need therapy, but I am pretty sure you can draw a pretty good conclusion and just leave it at that.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Brief thought to ponder

If a person is asking the question “Real or Fake?”,
it is certain that they are specifically referring to one of only three distinct possibilities:
Womens breasts
Professional Wrestling
or
Photographs of Bigfoot

The habanero Incident


about 5 years ago or so I worked at a local grocery store as a "Jill of all trades" but primarily I was a cashier, one night I was closing and the closing bag boy David came up with a bet. Now it is that time of night where there is absolutely no one in the store, so we were "goofing" around, he says:"I bet you you won't eat this pepper?"
Kara: what kind is is?
David: Habanero,it isn't hot
Kara: then why are you betting me
David: Because Mr. Black (our assistant manager) doesn't believe me
Kara: why don't you eat it
David: he won't believe me and he doesn't want to do it cause he is scared.
Kara: well let me see it
David: here it is *shows it to me* see it is small and orange, how hot can an orange pepper be?
Kara: yeah I guess you are right, what's in it for me?
David: I will give you all my tips from the night *pulls out wad of money* twenty bucks ...what do you have to lose.
Kara: Fine I could use the twenty bucks
David: *YELLING* Mr. Black she is going to eat it come see!!!
Mr Black comes over, he too had never really heard of this pepper so he was curious as to whether or not it was in fact "hot or not"
I bite the pepper in half.....

Nothing

David: you gotta eat it all that isn't enough for the money
Kara: fine *take another bite*


ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the pain is killing me, the fire is burning down my throat into my belly it is in my nose now and my eyes start to water. I begin yelling at David to give me the damn money I have to go buy some milk, I get a gallon and sit it at my register, I then it up the drink machine in the deli and grab a cup of ice which I use the cubes to stick up my nose to stop the burning. After about a good 45 minutes the burning quits and I'm able to breath easy.
I don't understand how people can eat such hot stuff, I'm Cajun and love my spicy Crawfish, crabs, and shrimp, but to sit there and eat a pepper for no good reason

PLEASE

I'm just glad I got paid!!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Unfortunate Joe's Crab shack incident


Due to my lovely sister writing a comment to remind me of my "time at Joe's crab shack" I will do us all a favor and tell you about it.

One cold night me and a bunch of friends were going to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the one with Jessica Biel. I had a sinus/crud-like illness and wasn't feeling too shabby, but really wanted to go out with my friends to see the movie. We head into the theater and I keep bitching about feeling so bad, so my friend Ray gives me two little blue pills that look like Advil, so I get a Coke and pop the pills we head into the the theater and sit into our seats. as the previews start I feel my head getting heavy, so heavy that I am no longer looking at the screen, but the ceiling instead. in a very loud "non-theater like" voice I say, Ray I can't see the screen,
Ray: "what did you do?"
Kara: "I took the Advil you gave me"
Ray: "those weren't Advil they were "Bars/Xanex" you were only supposed to take half of one!!"
By this time I'm too messed up to even realize what he is saying, so he suggest I slouch in my chair so it will hold up my head and this works for exactly 3 seconds which then leads me into sleepy-vile. Before I know it the movie is over and my friends want to go to Joe's Crab Shack to eat, let's remember that at this point they are having to PHYSICALLY carry me out of the theater BUT the bastard's still want to go eat.
we get there (which is walking distance from the theater) and settle into our table when the waiter gets our drink/food order, I order the soft-shell crabs with a side of fries, but when it arrives at the table I realized that I must have ordered the baby mini crabs, crabs so small it makes the ones you find on your privates look like king kong...

ANYWAY

I get pissed (yes I'm messed up) and tell them I WILL not pay for this food this is NOT what I ordered I will kick the cook's Ass BRING him OUT here...the whole nine
Needless to say my friends were having to remove me PHYSICALLY from this establishment too.
We head to my house to finish this night of Craziness, by watching Steal Magnolias... what rebels!!!!

the following happens in about as fast as I'm typing this:
Ray puts in the movie and presses play
the credits start and you see Darryl Hannah walking the streets trying to find Truvy's shop
I pass out
21 hours later...
I wake up and have no real recollection of what the CRAP happened...

yeah I think twice before taking any pills aspirin, Advil, or ANYTHING