Things I enjoy at Christmas...

1. Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes: they are so delightful and never changing...it is a dependable go-to cake for this time of year.

2. Christmas Cartoons: Charlie Brown Christmas, The Grinch, Rudolph the Red nosed raindeer, and Frosty the Snowman... how can you go wrong.

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"Linus

3. Christmas Songs: This Christmas, Rudolph, All I want for Christmas is you, and Santa Baby. always find myself singing and dancing to them no matter how many times I hear them.

4. Christmas Movies: Just Friends, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, and Home Alone. It warms my heart to watch these movies with loved ones and recite the lines before they even come on.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

5. Christmas Lights: you could have the shittiest looking, run down house, but put some Christmas lights on that bad boy and it can transform into the taj mahal

6. Christmas Trees: where there is a Christmas Tree there are presents and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

7. Jesus: he is the reason for this season.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son's, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin' Wife, Carley

8. Friends visiting for the Holidays: what more can you say about this one.

these are just some things I enjoy about this Holiday...I hope everyone has a great Christmas!

Most Hilarious email EVER

Hi I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number. Thanks Shan. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Poster yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat. Attached poster as requested. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small? From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Awww Dear Shannon, I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Awww Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Awww I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill. I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven. Regards, David. From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww Please just use the photo I gave you. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it. From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww Fine. That will have to do.

inquiring minds want to know...

My friend Brian and I were discussing strippers at lunch. Why? Don’t ask, but we wanted to know if strippers are paid like waiters/waitresses or if they are paid like hairdressers….

Waiters/waitresses: do they work for near to nothing like 3 dollars and hour and all tips are theirs?

Or

Hairdressers: are they their own boss and just “rent a station” or “piece of stage” and their tips are their income?

It is a very interesting concept and if there are any strippers reading this I would like your input …how do you get taxed?

Can of beans and Children's underwear

Last Christmas was the first Christmas for me to do the whole “family” thing with Jason and his family. Now as a child my mom just wrapped my gifts regularly and on Christmas Eve we would open them and it would be awesome, apparently Jason’s family wrapped their gifts a little different. They wrap the gift then put it in a box, wrap that and so forth. Or they will put things in it to make it heavier then normal to “throw them off the scent”. I’ve always heard of people doing this, but to witness it was a sight. Jason opened his gift which was in a shoe box filled with two cans of green beans and a Tom Tom box; he had to make sure the GPS was real before getting excited, because there was a good chance this too was a decoy… don’t worry ---it really was a Tom Tom GPS. Jason’s mom goes to open a gift from the grandkids, which I don’t remember what it was, but this box was compiled with the present, a can of vegetables of some kind and like 3 pairs of children’s underwear. We all bust out laughing, because what kind of weight could a pair of underwear put on this present. What happens next is probably the funniest thing about the story ….. I know how could it get any better right? Michelle, Jason’s sister clicks that it is her daughters underwear and says “so that is where all the clean underwear went?”

The little Rascals

Between my God kids and Jason’s nieces and nephew’s you could say we have a lot of kids, here are some silly little stories about each one and you’ll see why our holidays and get-togethers or never dull:

Falan (14) Poor Falan is a curse on Jason’s truck, on two separate occasions when she was in the truck something bad happened. Incident 1, the day after Jason got his truck Falan, Jason and I go to Galveston. On this day Jason got rear ended (no scratch on truck) and hit a dog (no scratch on truck or dog, it ran away fine) incident 2, Falan was with us before heading to the beach one afternoon and Jason wanted to wash off the truck before heading out there. We pull into the car wash and the back window starts leaking all over Falan, come to find out the seal around the back light wasn’t sealing right and it was leaking into the truck. Ever since these two incidents Falan is frowned upon when riding in Jason’s truck---I mean really what are the odds?

Baylee (12) Baylee is IN LOVE with the Twilight series of books and is 100% team Edward, she has a paper doll that she made and carries around with her of “her and Edward” at thanksgiving they made place-settings for everyone and hers said Edward instead of Baylee. Also I thanksgiving she told her Grandma that she didn’t like the “Edward” from the movie Robert Pattinson, but the “Edward” she made up in her mind.

Caden (10) last month Caden and his mom, dad, and baby brother were in town and when we all went to eat we saw Caden “flirting” with Falan (don’t worry they are not related what-so-ever and ….well Falan is 14! Falan was wearing some purple stone-washed skinny jeans and Caden says, “I like your pants, how did you get them that color?” Falan then said, “The store!”

Jacob (10) Jacob is a bit on the long-winded side, so me and Jason have “trained” him after telling a story to end it with “THE END” so that people know he is done with it for example a typical “Jacob” story would be as follows “so I had a dream where I was walking down a hallway and there was a girl and she was skipping so I tripped her and she fell in a whole, then she cried, but I laughed so I ran and then I went to the store and it was closed so I broke in and got in trouble so I cried….. THE END!

Julia (8) Julia, has had the same bear (stuffed animal) since she was a baby, but it was also her sister Baylee’s and her Brother Jacob’s so this bear has seen some destruction. It has no stuffing in the body, just the head and one foot. The bear has been puked, peed, and probably pooped on, but she keeps washing it and using it. No other bear will ever do.

Kyleigh (7) Kyleigh stayed the night one night and I told her to brush her teeth, at this time I didn’t have “kid toothpaste” so I made her use my regular minty Crest toothpaste and this was her exact words after brushing. “Whoa this is really minty, I’m very impressed!”

Hannah (7) is the artist of the group, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said “An Artist, but I don’t want to be rich and I don’t want to live near any earthquakes. Are there earthquakes in California?”

Alex (6) Alex is in football, flag football to be exact, when he first asked him how he liked football he said “they have really good snacks and drinks after” needless to say, Mr Alex doesn’t play that much, but when he does watch out he is all over the place.

Carson (3) we are all sitting in the living room and Carson comes in with no pants, just underwear on. His mom tells him to do the “naked dance” and he starts to move like he is hula hooping with no hula hoop. It was just about the cutest thing I’d ever seen ….where is the camera when you need it?

Some of the ages might be a little off, but you get the gist…. It really provides interesting family outings …. This is just the beginning of kiddoe stories…. I have plenty more where that came from so I shall end this with a ….

To be continued and not a The end (like Jacob would say)

Christmas Carol

---

In high school I was the girl that was in every organization, a regular social butterfly. I was in everything from Crime stoppers to student council, one activity I was big in was Drama club (Treasurer 99-00) My senior year we did a joint production with the Choir of A Christmas Carol, now usually I was a “behind the scenes kind or girl, my junior year I did costumes and sound, but this year I had a part. A real-deal walks on stage part with a name in the program (Not just cast member number 2 or townsperson). Janet was my name and I was the wife of Scrooge’s nephew. I had two on stage parts, the first was when Scrooge is being drug by one of the Christmas ghost and they look upon Scrooge’s nephew’s house where we are hosting a Christmas party. My husband and I are playing a game where we have to guess what people are talking about, and my line was “tight like your Uncle Scrooge’s purse strings.” --- are you waiting for more, well there was none, that was it for that scene and I delivered that semi-line beautifully! My next scene was a bit trickier I had to walk arm and arm with my husband across the stage and get stopped by Scrooge himself (this scene is after he decides he has been a douche his whole life and he is telling us he would like to partake in dinner with us after all. My line: was “We’ll be glad to have you”. Ok, so my friend Nate (who played my husband) and I are arm and arm we start walking, Scrooge comes up,

Scrooge: (not exact ---that was over 10 years ago) Hey nephew I will be able to make it to your dinner party I will bring a boiled goose.

Nephew: (again not exact) that is great…Janet isn’t that great

Janet (That’s me) long pause …..Deep breath …. Wait for it “We’ll be happy if you were there” or some crap like that!!!!

I totally choked, now I don’t think it was noticeable or at least no one called me out on it, but really you have two measly lines in a play and you are bating 1-1 on delivery-----SERIOUSLY!!!! I guess I won’t be giving any acceptance speeches for any Oscars anytime soon and that’s ok, I’d probably botch that up too

Baby on Board....

---

I have a friend who is 8 mos pregnant; she works with me and was complaining how her shirts ride up her belly. One day she was wearing a tightly fitting thermal under a big shirt (so you couldn’t see that the thermal was more of a “belly shirt”, because the big shirt was over it) and she was complaining she the she kept pulling at the big shirt thinking it was the thermal and it was riding up…. So I mentioned to Jason her dilemma and he said “yeah I know just how she feels, that happens to me too”

Lets re-cap my friend is a pregnant woman….Jason is just a little chunky round the middle ----- now that is funny

Tis the Season

Ok with Christmas right around the corner I have been listening to Christmas music, and I thought of this story while listening to one of my favorites, I have always loved Alvin and the Chipmunks, seen the movies, the cartoon, sang the songs, everything. Well when I worked for the ambulance company many years ago we all would listen to the radio while working, they had a chance for someone to call in and answer a question and win something ---- everyone in the office starts calling to win the prize and answer the question “what did Alvin want for Christmas?” Now being a super Chipmunk fan who can sing every lyric to their Christmas song I am certainly qualified to answer this question. Everyone is calling *ring ring* *ring ring* “Hello 108.5 the Station, What did Alvin want for Christmas?” before my brain could function my mouth shouted out “His 2 front teeth!!!” “Sorry that isn’t right ---try again *click –Hang up*

What!!!! I look to my co-workers who are all staring at me with their mouths wide open gawking like “you moron….that isn’t remotely right” after sitting there for a tick I was able to re-think of what happen and realized that I indeed are a douche and didn’t say the right words of “Hula-hoop”

To make matters a little more embarrassing (if that display of stupidity wasn’t enough) they replayed me excitedly screaming out the wrong answer on air …. Here is to wound insert salt immediately …. To this day I still don’t recall the prize, but whatever it was everyone in the office wanted it and I managed to screw it up royally.

the unfortunate laundry basket incident...

One evening as I was getting ready to take a shower I walk into the bathroom turn on my bathroom radio, start the shower, and look into the mirror. (Please note: I am fully clothed, I’ve told this story to people in public and they assume I am naked---this is not the case) Ke$ha’s Tik Tok was playing and I was laying down some pretty good moves….I was pop-lock and droppin’’ it and really honing in to my inner Nsync choreography. I look out the bathroom door (that I forgot to close) and see Jason in his “man-room” hanging up clothes in his closet, he is looking me dead in the eyes with a “what the hell are you doing” look on his face. Totally embarrassed I immediately run into the room he is in uncontrollably laughing I throw myself on the guest bed and roll off onto the floor. HOWEVER the floor is not what I found… I found the empty laundry basket that Jason had all his clothes in. if you haven’t guessed I fell into the basket--- picture if you will a turtle on its back, I would be the turtle and the basket was my shell!!!!---- I start laughing/screaming like the little brother Randy on A Christmas Story “I can’t get up ……I CAN’T GET UP!!” the whole time this is going on Jason is standing there with the straightest look on his face-shaking his head like “you moron” finally he comes to my help and gets me up, but as I stand the basket is still stuck on my butt so he then has to pry it off. I would definitely suggest investing in Rubbermaid laundry baskets, they are very sturdy, and I’m also very grateful Jason didn’t run for his camera while I was in that unfortunate position – you guys will just have use your imagination.

This one is for Jughead...

So I’m at my friend/co-worker Courtney’s wedding, the only thing on tap was Shiner beer, and needless to say I had a few. This is why I had to go to the restroom and did what I did. I walk up to the sign-in table with my friend Kristal to put my well-wishes paper in the box for the bride and groom and head off to the rest room. I go in, walk into the stall, put down the toilet seat, tinkle, get up and flush, wash my hands and then walk out the door. When I come out I see Jason sitting at our table with an “OH CRAP” look on his face, then he bust out laughing, Kristal (who is already loud) screams out “OH MY GOSH THAT WAS THE BOYS RESTROOM” I turn back to read the door and sure enough it was the boys room! I then re-think about my trip in there and realized ---yeah you dummy you had to put the toilet seat down---geez. Soon after I walked out Kristal’s boyfriend Jughead walks out of the bathroom, and he didn’t even realize it was me beeboping around in there with him! We were both clueless to my stupidity. Now don’t get me wrong if I am in line for the girls restroom and it is freakishly long I will hop in the guys restroom if someone is a lookout for me, but in those situations I’m fully aware that it is the boys room and not trying to make myself at home.

Earth-day the underground Norwegian Death Metal band

Me, Jason and our friend Forrest went to a music festival called Mayhem fest about 3 years ago. It took place outside in the dead of summer, so I wanted to make sure I was comfortable, so I go to walmart and buy a white shirt made of light cotton. It was just a plain with the word EARTH-DAY 24/7/365 on it. I told Jason that since I was going to a metal show (disturbed and slipknot were playing) I should make up a story about how this was a band, so I didn’t feel out of place amongst all the metal fans… so I came up with Earth day, a underground Norwegian Death Metal band….I didn’t expect anyone to ask me about my shirt, but Forrest did…

It begins

I had him believing that Earth day was a death metal band and that he was going to google or you tube it when he got home from the concert. We never came clean until a couple of months later when I was wearing the shirt again and Forrest was like “oh yeah I gotta check out that band”

Fast forward to 3 years later and me and Jason go to another summer concert in the dead of heat in Dallas and the lady serving drinks (she was an older lady and out of her element) says, “well that is different, everyone is wearing black shirts and they have skulls on them” I felt like she was mocking me so I tell her with the straightest face “this is an underground Norwegian death metal band.” The lady commences to tell us how her son will be so proud that she is learning about all these new bands --- Jason and I bust out laughing and headed to the stages to check out the next band.

So if there is a death metal band in Norway that needs a name “Earth Day” is up for grabs---- you already have a following in the Texas/Louisiana area.

Horse and Buggy Situation...

Every year for Halloween weekend Jason and I go to New Orleans for Voodoo fest (a music festival) last year we planned it where my sister and her friends would be in Nola at the same time and we could all hang out. Basically we would wake up meet Zina and them for breakfast or lunch then sight-see and do touristy stuff. On Saturday we ate some lunch and decided to take a tour on the horse and buggy ride, Jason, Maria (Zina’s girlfriend) Zina and I go to where they are loading the carriages and decide we will ride on this 3 seater. The first two rows are empty and there are three ladies sharing the 3^rd row, Jason pays the guy for us and I walk around to the left side of the carriage and step on the step and get on, Maria and Jason step on the step on the right side and get on. At this point Maria is going to slide over and let Zina get in on the right side, but as Zina steps on the step the buggy actually screams!! Ok it more or less made a cracking noise (it was pretty old) but it was awesome that both Jason and Maria stepped on that side at the same time and then Zina—by herself --steps and breaks the buggy! If that isn’t a way to bruise someone’s ego I don’t know what else is. So Zina has to walk around to the right side and get on like I did. I kid about this, but had I gotten in on that side the whole rail probably would have done more then just crack ---more like break off on the street and me have to buy the city of New Orleans a new buggy.

interesting instances with the parents ....

For the past 2 days Hazel had chest pains on and off, she said it was just "heartburn" me and Jason tried to convince her to go to the Dr/ER for the longest time, but she would either tell us the pain went away or she has just taken medicine so "lets see if it works" finally around 10:30pm Sunday night she said "OK it hurts worse lets go" so me and her went to the ER at the Medical Center in Mid-County as soon as we walk in and get her checked in the chest pain stops, so at this point she feels kind of stupid for coming, but me and every nurse tells her "better safe then sorry" they get her hooked up run an EKG and do lab work on her, 3 hours later we find out that it is just acid reflux/heart burn and that other then high sugar she is healthy as and OX. The only complaint the Dr. has (which by the way Mom loved) was that she is taking too much pain medication for her arthritis, so she gave Mom several suggestions on different types of meds to take to stop her pain in her legs. The Dr. also told her no spicy, greasy, or fried foods for a while since she is getting the heart burn, but other then that she is good to go....Now we are home and I took the day off to do running around for her so she can rest and enjoy her vacation... Me and Zina both agree I should get a medal for getting the old broad to the Dr. now I know what a little pestering and tears can do to get her to go---she can't say no to her baby :)

Now my sister called me the other night saying "what's going on over there?" I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about, but she wanted me to call my dad. Apparently she had received a message on her answering machine of someone saying "Robert passed away" well that is our dad's name. So being a little freaked out she tries calling them but all she got was "you've reached the voice-mail box....." finally after a couple of rounds of phone tag we got a hold of Robert and found out that he was not dead *woo (wipes forehead)*

I just find it weird that both of these events took place days apart and happened to both of my parents ----crazy how life keeps you on your toes!

Halloween Shenanigans...

These incidents happened about 6 or 7 years ago, so bear with me because my memory might be a little shot. Me and my good friend Ryan decided to go out with a couple of our friends Jimmy, Marcus, Jordy, and Kaylee for Halloween. A couple of days prior to our Halloween outing the four of them invite Ryan and myself to a haunted house in town. Now I must add that we usually don’t “hang” out with these four, they were the friends that you see out at the club and chit-chat a bit “how yah been. How’s yah mama…etc” so I personally didn’t know what I was getting into accepting this offer of partaking in haunting festivities. We all meet up at Marcus’ house and we are waiting for Jordy to show up, but up to this time she has been MIA, after a good 2 hours of hunting her down we find her at her mom’s house completely wasted!! We then make her get dressed to go to the haunted house, well since we were going to go to the club after she decides to wear high heels (you will need this info for later) after what has been 3 hours of getting everything together we finally make it to the haunted house.

**this just in I am not a fan of walking in the dark --- ok I’m scared of the dark and don’t like not knowing where I am going so I told everyone pre-haunted Hotel that I would not be leading the rag-tag team of us through this scary maze**

So once we get to the front of the line and pay for our ticket Jimmy the one that was going to lead----chickens out--- absolutely no one else in the group will take the roll so me being the bigger person decide I will take one for the team and lead us through this maze of insanity.

We head in and notice the “building” is a tent and it is in a field, this was the first year for this venue to be in this new location so we weren’t quite sure what to expect, but we head in anyway. I am already starting to pee a little ---I don’t usually get scared at this stuff, but since I’m leading a group of people in a foreign place in the dark I’m freaking a bit. If you have never been to a haunted house you walk down hallways and people scream at you and jump out and there are little sets set up for these “characters” to come out and scare you. As soon as we get to the first one some scary character of the past (Jason, Mike Myers, the Boogie man whoever) pops out and scares the pants off of Jimmy he then proceeds to jump on my back like I’m giving him a piggy-back ride (he pretty much stays there the entire time). We then move on to the next scene and have to stop because drunk Jordy has gotten her heel stuck in the ground! After that craziness we head down a long hallway and I stop, there is a dark man in front of me and I look him dead in the eye and say “get me out of here” he then lets us pass and we head on to another scene, by this time Jimmy has gotten off my back and I’ve started to realize that once you get to a scene you don’t see anyone come out until you start to talk or make noise…they are literally basing on when to come out by the sound you are making when you come up, So I would get to a scene quietly run across to the other end of the scene yell back at the rest of the group “come on guys” so the scary people would come out and I would get to witness them getting the crap scared out of them. This worked a couple of times until the last scene I turned to look at everyone and when I turned back around to head on I see a light ---it was outside !!! finally we made it to the end and I can get out of this place, so I book it to the door after my second step I hear and see THE CHAINSAW MAN, I immediately run the other way back into the hotel, but am stopped because of the other people in my group pushing me the other way so the only other way to go is down this 3^rd mysterious hallway which ends up being a go-around sort of thing (very confusing to explain, but believe me it wasn’t fun) finally Ryan the last person in the group say “go out that way!” so I run full speed out this little exit and as I’m heading out the damn CHAINSAW MAN goes through another passage and meets up with us AGAIN luckily he had a barrier he couldn’t cross and we escaped freely…

It took us a while to catch our breath after that one, they really did save the best ---or in our case the worst for last♥

Same group different day (Halloween) we decide we will all dress up and go to The Street (a place that has a bunch of different bars on one strip to hop around) they have an annual Halloween party where they close off the street and have a massive party. Before we head up there we all meet at Marcus’ house, I was dressed as a goddess, Ryan was a dead bride, Marcus was a priest, Jordy was a devil and Jimmy was an angel, the only person we were waiting on was Kaylee. Now I’m thinking that since Marcus, Jordy, and Jimmy were all Angel/Devil/Priest that Kaylee would be a catholic school girl or a nun or something going with the theme of all the friends….. well she finally gets there (an hour later) in a one piece leopard print leotard, black stiletto knee-high boots, big teased up “jersey” hair, cat ears, painted on whiskers and a tiny handkerchief wrap-skirt. As soon as she walks in Marcus says, “where have you been?”

“well I found this cat suit in my closet and thought it would be perfect for tonight, but when I put it on I noticed…” she lifts up the wrap-skirt “… I have a huge camel-toe in it so I had to finagle a way to cover it!” ----- that’s it! That is the story --- it was hilarious that she took so long to hide her camel-toe just to arrive at the house and show it off, and on top of that who the hell just has a leopard print leotard hanging in their closet? ♥

Different group of people, but same location as the first story ----sort of---- it was the same place The Haunted Hotel, but it was in a different location on this occasion, me and my friend Tibby always celebrated our birthday’s together mine being on the 20^th his being on the 17^th so we decided we would all go out to the Haunted Hotel with a big group of friends … as we get there they split us up into two groups I am in the second group which nothing happened we just walked through with no problems, however in Tibby’s group he was leading and I might want to mention that he is deathly afraid of spiders. Their group walks in to a room that was painted black, with painted glow in the dark spiders as soon as he and his group walk into this room he immediately freaks out and starts running, well the poor bastard should have bobbed instead of weaved, because he planted himself face first into a wall and fell straight back to the ground. My group of course only heard the commotion afterward, but be aware we never let him down about that one.♥

An Old Family Story

This is one of the stories I found on my old blog... enjoy


Something came to mind today while I was reading my two cousin's blogs.
Bonnie and Laurie are sister's and their mother is my Aunt Ruby. Well in their blogs they both
wrote entries about their mother. So they sparked my memory to one of my own.
Every year we have a crawfish boil at my Aunt Ruby and Uncle Red's. Usually I bring my
friend Kelly, but he was out of town so I asked my friend Dana to go. We head out there as soon as I get off of work and of course EVERYONE had been out there all day. So we hurry up eat some crawfish and as we are finishing people start to leave. Within an hour everyone is gone, but me, Dana, my aunt Bernice and uncle Henry from Louisiana, and aunt Ruby and uncle Red.
I don't know how we got to the subject of the old days, but my aunt Ruby told us a story that
left a really funny thought in my head.

"Once in a while your uncle Red's co-workers would

call in the middle of the

night and ask if you know where your husband is

they would try to get them in trouble

with the misses."

Pretty good so far right .... well it only gets better and better!!!!

"Usually he would be a good boy and

he would be at home so the guys would call

for no good reason."

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE SHE SAYS.....

"Yeah well if I thought about it then I should have said

he is right here on top of me!!!!"

This statement sent me and Dana over the top and all we could talk about was that to all

of our friends. There was a lot I learned that day sitting at my Aunt's house chit chatting away.

who knew my aunts could talk so dirrty <~~~~ 2 R's like Christina Aguliara(sp)

yeah you are welcome !!!

I'm Back....did you miss me?

Yeah I know it’s been a while, get over it--- I am back and ready to write. This entry will be the, what I’ve done while I’ve been gone story.

In May me and Jason went on a grown up vacation (where we were gone for a week not just a long weekend trip) we went to Florida and had a blast.

We started out going to New Orleans for a couple of days, then headed out to Florida where we stayed in Orlando and went to Disney World, while in Orlando we caught “Blue Man Group” and Universal City walk, then headed to Cocoa and Daytona beach for a day. On our way back we stopped in Mississippi to visit our friend Forrest then headed on back to Texas. It was a great trip and don’t worry I WILL elaborate on it later. While I’ve been gone I’ve started going back to school. I am taking some online courses right now at the local community College, but will transfer after receiving my associates in Arts and Business to the big University to finish my bachelor’s in finance or accounting (still deciding) Me and Jason just celebrated 7 years together and we are still rolling along strong, I will be turning 29 soon and can’t wait ---28 was a blast and 29 shouldn’t be that shabby either.

I guess since we are talking about birthday’s I will tell you a little story about a b-day celebration I had about 5 years ago … we will call it the “big girl rides bull debacle” 5 years ago I was homeless. Hurricane Rita demolished my family’s house and we were in the looks for a new one/waiting on insurance money to come in, I would stay at different friend’s houses and pretty much gypsy myself around town (this part really has nothing to do with the story just that I want you all to know 1) I was homeless…feel sorry for me and 2) I was staying at my friend Dana’s house) So me, Dana, her sister Amy and her friend Kathy (we will name her Kathy since I do not remember her name) were all getting ready to go out to “The Street” this is a place where there are several little clubs and pubs in a row that the kids like to hang out, all of my friends were meeting us out there to club hop. So we get ready and mosey down to The Street, the deal was Amy who was only 18 at the time would be our DD but the first place we went was 21 and up so me, being me had to go and have a one on one with the bouncer…

Me: so I have like 20 to 40 people coming in here and I would like for our DD to be able to come in here.

Bouncer: how old is she?

Me: 18

Bouncer: well she can come in but I’m putting large X’s on her hands and she can’t drink anything, no water, coke, or juice out of a glass.

Me: that is perfect put the X’s on her and if she gets thirsty we will make her drink out of the sink in the bathroom!

The bouncer marks Amy’s hand and then we are in.

Everyone shows up and we stay there for a couple ---more like a few--- no no lets say what it really was a dozen or so drinks, then we all decide we wanna go get our dance on so head over to this country club that plays a little bit of everything, but they are still a “country club” (not like golf club, like club that plays Country music) I being completely wasted decide “hey they have a mechanical bull, I’m gonna ride it!” So I get some money from Jason and go climb under this fence- barrier thing to go to the mechanical bull, I’m pretty sure I cut like 20 people, but this was the time I was gonna get my ride on! I go to the guy who looked like he weighted about 120lbs soak and wet and gave him my money he then walks with me to the bull and gets on one knee like he is proposing, he then slaps the knee that isn’t on the ground and says “hop on”

Now I’m a big girl and double this guy’s size and he wants my fat ass to “hop on” I just give him a look like you crazy… he smiles and says “hop on”

Whatever dude that is your knee….so I hop on

Dude: You ready

Me: yeah

Dude: hold on and put one arm up for balance

Me: ok

The bull starts and the front end goes straight up I apparently screamed (I don’t remember) because he stops and says

Dude: you ok?

Me: yeah

He starts the bull again and this time the front goes down and the back goes up and I fall head first off the front of this thing, right on to the mat. I don’t remember too much after this moment just that when I woke up I felt like I’d been kicked in the crotch and to my surprise I had a bruise on my FUPA (fat upper P**** area) that was the color of a purple squash, I do have to say that was the first and last time I would ever attempt to ride a bull mechanical or not!

Top Glee Quote 4/20/10

"Ok you can stop now you are making my baby sick." Quinn to Rachel

Hello Danese

Pronunciation of Hello Danese: Ell-OH Dah-Nez!

There a little Hispanic lady that cleans our building at work, I have no clue what her name is so me and my friend Ama call her Hello Danese. Why you may ask, well that is another long-drawn out story for later…

This story however is about the randomness of the Hello Danese… she always cleans the bathrooms around lunch, and she puts a sign out that says “CLOSED WOMAN CLEANING” ….even though she is cleaning the WOMEN’S RESTROOM. Why can’t I go in? what is so special that you need the privacy away from everyone? Is this wear you take your breaks? ---- Also 6 out of 9 times I go to the restroom she is in there, pooping! How do I know it is her, because she wears the same white, wal-mart sneakers everyday, how do I know she is pooping ---SHE CARRIES SPRAY!!!! Something else is once it is her lunch time it is HER lunch time, there was a day I was waiting for the microwave and she just jumped the line and put her stuff in there like she’d been standing there for 20 minutes (like I had) thank goodness someone was almost done with their food in the other microwave or HD would have gotten cut…. DO NOT GET IN BETWEEN A FAT GIRL AND HER FOOD --- PEOPLE HAVE DIED FOR LESS!!! Yes I do feel sorry for her that she chooses to eat her lunch in her broom closet (there are plenty of unused tables in the café Danese) and yes I do admire her for being so regular, and I will but aside the fact that she has to wear a blue apron that looks like something a traffic guard would wear, but lady I do time for this company I track your time DO NOT sit on the steps waiting for your husband to come pick you up I know darn good and well you are still on the clock…. There is no point to this story just that I saw her again 2 times in the bathroom while I was trying to “meditate” ----- Hello Danese this goes to you ….if I get backed up from not being about to full-fill ultimate evacuation I am coming for you sister!!!!

song of the week 4

So I love me some Ludacris and I love this song.... I have actually asked a stripper "how low can you go?" .... she did answer, but she did go pretty low ....

song of the week Ludacris .... How low can you go


these girls are pretty good by the by

Top Glee Quote 4/13/10

" Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?" --- Britney the Cheerio

one of the many beach incidents

A bunch of us used to always go to the beach for the summer holiday, Memorial Day, forth of July…etc. well this one time we were there it was a bunch of couples and this one guy named Brian. Brian decided he was going to go to a party at his cousin’s cabin on the other end of the beach while we stayed at our cabin and hung out. Several hours later a very drunk Brian stumbles back to the cabin talking about how the people at the party stole his keys. Jason and our friend John Michael being about as drunk as Brian decide to go over to that cabin and retrieve the keys. Me and John Michael’s wife Kristen stay back at the cabin so we can wait for the cops to call when they arrest these drunk fools.

Off they went, and me and Kristen waited and waited…finally about 45 minutes later they show back up and tell us this story…

So we walk in there and find that everyone is asleep so we John Michael starts to slap

People asking for the keys, while Brian and Jason are looking for them.

With no luck in finding the keys we head down stairs and load up the truck with all their

Ice and charcoal and get out of there with the quickness.

We all sorta laughed at the fact that they didn’t get their asses kicked for going over there and not getting caught for stealing all their ice and charcoal, in the morning when Brian went back over to the cabin to get his truck and keys the people told him they didn’t want him driving in his condition and that is why they took his keys. Brian made it sound like he was jumped and the keys were stolen and all hell had broken loose, but alas his cousin was just trying to be considerate and care for drunk ass with no sense. The bright side of this story is we didn’t have to go to the store, since we were plenty stocked up on ice and charcoal.

The bowling Alley Brawl

One night me, Jason, my friend Rikki and her husband Ben were all out at the bowling alley, we were gonna do Karaoke and have some beers. Shawn and KK another couple ended up meeting us out there a little later. Rikki and I always liked to perform Ike and Tina’s Proud Mary for karaoke, and tonight would be no exception. We get up there and I start the talking part “you know sometimes you like to hear something from us nice and easy….”

A girl that we did not know came up and started talking to Rikki; apparently she wanted to sing with us….

1. Me and Rikki have a routine down with dancing so we really don’t like for others to be up here while we sing and

2. We signed up, we waited …no you can not sing!!!!

Rikki tells her that she would have to talk to me, and then the girl smarts off to Rikki saying “who is she your manager?” (Strike 1)

Rikki tells her “yeah that is my manager” and then the girl comes up to me.

“can I sing with y’all?

“no” was my response

“really?”

“yeah really …we got this”

She takes off and starts talking shit to her friend (strike 2) shortly after this both girls walk up to us and the girls friend stands in between me and the karaoke monitor where the words pop up. (Strike 3) Rikki starts dancing and I start swinging, one girl I punch after she punched me in the nose and she flew to the ground that is when Rikki jumped on her and people started screaming the cops wanted to talk to us… Rikki gets pulled off and me and her walk out to talk to the cops …Shawn ran to the bathroom where Jason and Ben had been the whole time, so they missed everything. They walk out and see there girlfriend and wife talking to the cops. The cop asked me what happened and I said “we just wanted to sing”

They let us go right after the guys came up telling us to go out the front and the other girls to go out the side. We then all went to Rikki and Ben’s to talk about what exactly happened …the guys were confused and we had to let them know what went down. Ever since then I don’t really perform that song anymore, I was lucky to not get arrested or worse…you can’t trust people and I’m definitely too old to be getting in bar fights

Song of the Week 3

Me and a girl from work were talking about American Idol, and Kris Allen vs Adam Lambert ...
well I love, love, love Kris Allen's new song Live like you were dying .... so ta-dah!

that is the song of the week

damn the gas

I am at work…in the meditation station and there is a lady in the “sink” section of the bathroom which is a different room then the one with the stalls where I am, I hear someone come in and start talking to the lady so that is great. I can make as much noise as I need to since I was rather gassy, well once I’m done my friend Amanda walks in (she was the person talking to lady A in the sink section) and says

Amanda: ok Kara you can stop your orchestra now I’m in here.

Stupid paper thin walls….stupid loud gas

Song of the Week 2

I don't care how many times I hear this song or where I am I always stop and do a shimmy dance to this song --- it rocks!

this week's song is Tik Tok by KeSha

San Antonio Summer 2007 Part III

Sunday:
The picture should say enough.... we drove home and I tended to my wounds!!!
lesson learned NO MATTER WHAT ALWAYS PACK SUN BLOCK


The end

San Antonio Summer 2007 Part II

Saturday:

when we woke up Saturday we all had small hangovers from the night of partying on the river walk, so we all decide to go eat breakfast at Denny's ...that is where Forrest wondered off to at 1:30 in the morning and he told us it was right up the block. We all get ready and head up the street to the Denny's that is right on the corner! Yeah about 20 minutes later we finally see the Denny's that was located about 10 blocks up and 6 blocks left from the hotel, we get there/get a seat and eat...as we are leaving Forrest disappears AGAIN we need to get this fool a leash, so we take off and leave him and walk ALL the way back to the hotel. At the hotel Forrest finally comes in saying sorry guys I had to take a shit! REALLY in and out right there at the Denny's ...couldn't even wait to take the walk back to the hotel ....what a colon, anyway we get ready and call for the car, this is where I remember I didn't pack any sun block, so Ted tells me we will find a Wal-greens or a Wal-mart and pick some up on the way to the venue where the concert would be (which was about 30 minutes away from San Antonio)
We find the venue and turnaround in order to find us all some sun block, like I said before it was a HOT one.... We drove everywhere and the only store we saw that might carry sun block was a convenient store that wasn't very convenient.... it was like a ghetto want to be Buccee's without the jerky...they had a lot, but no sun block! We decided after wasting an hour or so on the great search for sun block that we would go to the concert and see if they had it there (I have been to festival-type concerts that had booths with that kind of stuff at it) once we arrive and park we see and ungodly line of people about 3 miles long...since it was Oz Fest everyone was wearing black so I was sure not jealous of them. I on the other hand wasn't wearing a stitch of black hell I could have been going to the mall or an NSYNC concert for all these people knew. About 30 minutes later we end up at the front and get inside we head to the first stage to see some band and I start to realize I'm getting sun burnt. there is no stopping it the sun is horrendous and showing no mercy at all. After that band stops we head to the souvenirs section to look for sun block ---none, so I buy a big Japanese umbrella and use it to block the sun (the guys picked on me for buying it, but when we all sat down to rest the guys were all sitting in front of me so the sun would be blocked by my umbrella--- douches
it was almost time for Lamb of God and Ozzy to come on so we headed to our seats, Jason and I ended up getting a sweet upgraded seat closer to the stage and Ted and Forrest got pit upgraded seats. Jason and I's seats were awesome no one was around us we could spread out and rest while we watched the bands. Let me back up a bit, we all know my fascination with the bowel movement, well after eating the Denny's in the morning and then for lunch the festival had a Hooter's van out there serving up wings and stuff, I started to feel the poops coming on, so right as Static X (yummy Wayne Static) started to play I high-tail it to the bathroom to drop the deuce! It was the most awful thing I could ever produce...I know I've said I can't do this in public, but when the intensity is at death-con 5 you gotta go ...you gotta go, so after I'm done I head back to watch the rest of the show and I feel like a million bucks.... after Lamb of God we were all getting hungry so we decided to skip Ozzy and head back to the hotel it was damn near 10:00pm already and we had been out at the venue since 10:00 that morning.
We get back to the hotel get showers and we all start to see how red we all got, everyone is rocking a nice farmers tan for sure. We all are beat from the intense day of metal music and hot sun pounding on us that we go to the first Mexican restaurant that is open we grub and go straight back to the room...there is no way with the way that we felt at that precise moment we would be doing any partying on this night especially with the long drive home tomorrow so we go back to the room and crash....

PS the picture above is the guys with my umbrella, "the sun never sets on the cool"


to be concluded....

San Antonio Summer 2007

The summer of 2007 was a hot one, but Jason, our friend Ted, and I decided to buy tickets to Oz Fest in San Antonio, TX. We decided to head up Friday morning and come back Sunday afternoon, the concert was on Saturday and it was an all day event.

Friday:

Ted comes to pick us up and we hit the road, San Antonio is about 300 miles away so we had a ways to go. Our Hotel was directly across the street from the Alamo and walking distance from the River walk, so we were stoked, not to mention it was allegedly haunted! We get to the hotel about noon-ish (which is too early to check in) so we decide to valet the car get a beer and go to the river walk and have a look around. Before coming up here I did my research which is how we knew about the haunted hotel, I also found a really cool night club from a website that was on the river walk named Poly Ester’s it was a three story club the 1^st floor is the hits of today 2^nd story is 90’s music, 3^rd story is 80’s, so I was positive we would go there this night. We get to the river walk and grab a bite to eat at Dick’s ---- this is a restaurant that strives on the waiters being dicks--- they are supposed to be rude to you forget stuff and yada yada, well unfortunately the service we had at Dick’s was probably the best service I’d have in a restaurant in years, they should consider changing the name to Not-a-Dick’s, the silliest thing that happened was a waiter rolling silverware was singing obnoxiously to a Pearl Jam song and another guy was throwing spit balls at people, but definitely not dick-like behavior at all. After lunch we walked and shopped a bit and decided we would go back and check in to the hotel. Once we took a small break and get settled we walked back to the river walk, there were happy hour specials EVERYWHERE … one place had buy one appetizer get 2 margaritas or beer of your choice free, yes we had already eaten, but we didn’t care ----BRING ON THE BOOZE! We also made a silent pact that we would go to each different “themed” bar for instance there was a British Pub that we found to be enjoyable, there was also an Irish pub that had a sing-a-long, and we hit up the sports bar too. By this time our friend Forrest had made it into town, he was also coming with us to Oz fest and since he was coming in from Louisiana we chose not to wait for him, but we had to let him in the room, so we take another little break and wash up get dressed so we can head out clubbing…. Jason and Ted decide they are going to wear their sunglasses all night “the sun never sets on the cool” is what they kept saying the entire time. Forrest called up a buddy who lives in SA so we were to meet him in the hotel bar, there was a bartender that told us about all the ghost sightings in the hotel and totally freaked us out, so after one drink there we hauled ass back to the British bar (it was too early to head to the club, but not early enough for some bar time. About 9 or so we head over to Poly Ester’s Forrest, his friend, Jason and Ted (in their sunglasses) and Me. We get there and have a BLAST the 1^st floor was like a regular club cool lights and playing hip top 40 songs of 2007, 2^nd floor was all 90’s played Unbelievable, Madonna, Mili Vanili, and tons of other great 90’s music one main thing I saw was this white Bronco in the middle of the floor near the bar, and on the tv screens they kept showing footage of the OJ Simpson run-down it was amazing, 3^rd floor was my ABSOLUTE favorite though, they were playing all sorts of 80’s music and it looked like the 80’s vomited in this club, they had Culture club pictures, Michael Jackson memorabilia the list absolutely goes on and on…we would dance in once section until there was a song we didn’t like or couldn’t dance to then hit the next floor we were up and down all night. Finally Jason hollers at us “come on its last call!” so Me, him and Ted head back to the hotel. We walk toward the hotel and Jason says “I gotta pee, let’s walk to the Alamo and I’ll pee on it”

Me: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You can pee on me before you pee on the Alamo…

As I say this in my drunken, worn out stupor Ted trips and nearly bust his ass from laughing so hard at what I said….”Dude, she said you could pee on her!”

Me: “no no I mean DO NOT pee on the Alamo” *note to self* think before speaking even when drunk.

So we head to the room Ted hops in the shower and Jason decides he wants to go ghost hunting,

OH OH I almost forgot, this was the moment I realized by looking at the clock near the table that

Jason can’t tell time it wasn't 2:00 it was only 1:00 …yeah we could

Have still been out at the club!

so me and him head down the long quiet hallway that lead to nowhere… this hotel was weird the hallways were long and creaky and had random little side hallways that lead to exit doors, but I wasn’t quite sure where the exit doors lead to, it was creepy to say the least. Right there in the middle of the hallway was a small table with a book on it Jason decided he would turn to one page and come check the book later to see if anyone or thing had tampered with it.

Jason “remember Chesapeake 121”

Me “what is that?”

Jason “the section the book is on, I will come check it later.

So we walk a while and I get scare…I mean bored and we head back to the room…we get there and Ted is passed out, so I hop in the shower, Jason decides he is going to go and check the book. Before I know it the door to the bathroom swings open and Jason is in the bathroom with me…

Jason” THE BOOK CHANGED…IT WASN’T ON CHESAPEAKE 121 ANYMORE…AND THERE WAS LIKE NO ONE ANYWHERE”

Me “what…. Calm down maybe someone walked by and we didn’t see them.

Jason “no there was no one, I’m gonna dead bolt the door”

So after calming him down and finishing our showers we hop in bed it is about 2:30 or so, all of a sudden someone opens the door but is stopped by the fact that the dead bolt is on, so all we hear is a BOOM

Jason “it’s the ghost!!!!”

Me “Calm down Shaggy don’t go get the mystery machine just yet …it is only Forrest, you locked him out!”

So Jason lets Forrest in and we head get to sleep……

To be continued….

Song of the Week ....

So I'm gonna do a song of the week...
My friend Amanda has a 2010 mixed CD that I've confiscated from her about a week or two ago and it had all kinds of songs on there... it had a bit more Country then I like, but in the end I started listening to them more then the regular Pop songs... so my winner for song of the week this week is

Must be Doing something Right by Billy Currington

Childhood Stories .....

As I’ve said before in other stories I was “like” an only child, due to the fact that my sister and brother were so much older then me 17 years to be exact, so my childhood involved me and my imagination here are a couple of little stories about me as a kid that would probably make your parent send you to a psychiatrist:

1. Valley Girl Days:

When I was about 7 or so one of my favorite movies was Valley Girl staring Nicolas Cage: this was like a rated R movie, but my mom didn’t think anything about me watching these movies as long as I didn’t hurt myself and stayed out of trouble I was ok. One of the characters in the movie was Tommy the ex boyfriend, well according to my sister I had a tennis racket that I would call Tommy and he was my boyfriend.

2. Speaking of Tennis Rackets:

Me and Ashley (my Barbie buddy) would act like we were the Judds and I would use a tennis racket as my guitar.

3. Adventures in Babysitting:

One of my other all time favorite movies was Adventures in Babysitting I would pretend that I was Sarah from the show (the little girl that believes in Thor) and the cushions from out couch would be all the other characters.

4. Acting Out

There was a group of neighborhood kids that would get together and “act” we couldn’t “pretend” or “play” because my friend Christina who was a year older then everyone was too old to “play” or “pretend” we always had to “act” well we would either play in my backyard or in the driveway of an old couple from down the street, we would “act” one of the following Dark wing Duck which was us being the characters of the cartoon, Power Rangers again us being characters from the TV show, Restaurant, Singled Out (based on the game show on MTV, or house.

5. A little TLC

Me, Ashley and Christina used to pretend we were TLC and sing their songs in my living room.

6. Magnets

Before I was going to big school like pre-kindergarten my mom would watch soap operas in the living room and I would sit in the kitchen watching Today’s Special and Muppet Babies on the small 2 inch black and white tv we had in there, I would go to the fridge and play school or house with the magnets. My mom had tons so I would use then like people and make them talk to each other and play and such.

These are just a few of the things I did to past time as a child, I had friends but sometimes you just want to do some solo activities. If you are a parent and your kid experiences any of these activities … don’t fret… they just might turn out like me… you just have to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing