Split Happens

Well let me start with I’m not as young as I used to be. Back in the day my friend Ashley and I would dance and do splits since she was on the school dance team. We would try to see who could do a split first or make up and practice dances she had to do on the field—Lets fast forward 12 years to my living room where Jason, Falan and Myself are watching Dazed and Confused. We are discussing high school and how our lives were different from the high school experience of the movie vs today (Falan is in the 9th grade and will be starting high school this year) I maybe mention that I could do splits “back in the day” and that I tell them the story of Ashley and I and our dance shenanigans. The next couple of minutes are a blur, because it went by so fast:
· Jason: You could do splits?
· Me: Could, baby I can do one right here right now
· Jason: you better not you are going to hurt yourself
I get up and begin to “stretch” and am going to go SLOWLY into a split so I don’t hurt myself, but in my awesomeness I realize I have socks on the carpet so before I know it I hear *pop, snap, crackle* like I’m a damn bowl of rice crispies and I’m on the ground in a split. Everyone in the room is looking at me like I have just shit the bed, and at this point I would have rather shit the bed, because I was in excruciating pain… the snap crackle pop was me pulling my hamstring and I could barely walk. The pain and huge bruise on the back of my leg eventually went away but it took a hot second for it to do so. I must remember that I will be 30 this year and can’t move and shake like I used to…I am attaching a picture of my bruise at its worse---don’t judge my ham-hock thighs.